Doctors

Quite an eventful day today, I mean un-eventful. First of all it took 2 hours to get through to the doctors only to be told that I had to ring back at 2pm. I had to "shuffle" up the road to get some painkillers so I am went in and saw the receptionist only to shuffle back out to ring at 2pm. Decided then and there that if I never got an appointment this afternoon I would of gone into that surgery and lied on the floor, I would of been lying down and singing. I will not, I will not be moved. I will not, I CANT be moved.

Anyway I managed to get an appointment and have been told to lie down for at least 3 days, take tablets (at a cost of £6.50 per box) and do not a lot. It's not too bad but I feel useless. I am not ill, feel alright but am not comfortable and in quite a bit of pain. I have been logging into work and doing some stuff so at least it's not too boring. I am one of those strange people that really likes work so would rather be there and not here in bed.

Did manage to get a bit of time to "tidy" up the blog. Think it looks a lot cleaner now.

Baby news - Now in week 27 and Mrs PF has had some Braxton Hicks contractions.

Footy News - Looks like, if the rumour is to be believed, that Bentley from Arsenal is signing tomorrow for us. Along with Jamal Campbell Ryce from Rotherham. Tomorrow is the last day before transfer deadline.

Mr Owen is going to be a geordie hero. Think he is better off going there then Liverpool as the fans will love him plus from a selfish point of view how good to see the England partnership I have wanted to see for years !

Just looked on the FA site and they have that Owen is already playing for Newcastle. Click Here

Todays Fact - There is no tipping at restaurants in Japan

Somewhere I have not been so if you can validate this one that would be great. It's so expensive that you prob can not afford to.

Also has anyone seen a book called Fruits, it has lots of pictures of these people all dressed up in Tokyo. A really good book, we got it from Amazon but managed to see a art thing in New Zealand on it so I wrote all the details down so we could order it when we were back.

On this day - 30th August 30 B.C: Cleopatra commits suicide

Cleopatra, queen of Egypt, takes her life following the defeat of her forces against Octavian, the future first emperor of Rome. The daughter of King Ptolemy XII, Cleopatra became the lover of Julius Caesar, who helped her seize the Egyptian throne from her brother in 47 B.C. After Caesar's assassination, Mark Antony, another powerful Roman, fell in love with her, and in 36 B.C. they were married. Four years later, Octavian, the designated heir of Caesar, declared war against Antony and Cleopatra. In 31 B.C., they were defeated at the Battle of Actium and fled to Alexandria. Soon after, Mark Antony committed suicide after hearing a false report of Cleopatra's death. Rather than fall into Octavian's hands, Cleopatra likewise ended her life.

Greetings from a very sunny North London I am meant to be outside at a local park flying my kite and having a laugh with some friends. Im not though I am lying in my bed looking out of the window at the sun. Gutted.

Yesterday my back went and I am in agony. I can not move from my bed because when I stand it puts so much pain on my back that I huddle over and fall on the floor crawling to get to the loo. Quite a site to see I would think. I dont know what caused it to go although I have been suffering for a couple of weeks with the back.

I have never had a problem with my back and just hope it clears up. Mrs PF has said that if it was not for the pain it would be my ideal day as I am lying in bed typing on the powerbook, browsing, learning how to use photoshop, got the web radio going with some football on (Five Live) to be honest it's not too bad apart from the pain. Got lunch and a coffee being brought up in a minute :-)

Baby news - Went to Mums on Saturday and both her and my sister got us lots of stuff for the baby so cant wait to get the baby furniture on Friday and start to set everything up. Back permitting !!

Footy News - AJ for England. Shouldnt really of gone to the match on Saturday because we were out to my Mums for a meal and had to leave earlier to drive BUT I had to go as it was Clintons home coming. Palace won 2-0 and we did deserve it but we never played well. I left early so I could get the fast train back to London Bridge. But I did manage to see the last goal. Andrew Johnson really is a class above everyone else. Our young left back Borrowdale is having bit of a nightmare at the moment but until Granville is back we have to stick with him. Clinton did well when he came on but I thought that Macken had a great game.

England squad was named and AJ is in again. David James has been "dropped" and I think it is for the best. He seems to have a problem when playing for England that when he pulls on the shirt he goes blind. It's in Man City's favour because I do believe that he is a good keeper when he plays for his club.

Todays Fact - Avocados are poisonous to birds.

I'm going to have one with my lunch BUT do I test the the fact on the pigeons?

On this day - 29th Aug 1835
Founding of the Australian city of Melbourne

Im a movie, Im a movie what movie am I?

Not a lot to blog about other then looking forward to the bank holiday.

Here is some movie reviews of films that we have recently watched. I'm going to keep them short:

6 word film reviews

The Island - Logans Run meets the truman show
Skeleton Key - Voodoo Magic with great end twist
Dukes Of hazzards - crap film crap car crap stars

Baby news - Went to my mates at lunchtime and saw his little girl and also his slighter older son. Good lungs on her.

Footy News - Watching Liverpool on TV tonight but looking forward to Clinton Morrison playing tomorrow for the Eagles

Todays Fact - To take an oath, ancient Romans put a hand on their testicles…that’s where the word “testimony” comes from

On this day - 26th Aug 1959
British car manufacturers Austin and Morris launch a small family car known as the 'Mini'.

Went out in a new one today and was very good fun !

Foo-king Brilliant

What a great concert. Last Time I saw the Foo Fighters was at Wembley arena a couple of years ago and they went to the top of my must see bands but yesterday was great as the venue was so small. There is a great reveiw on the concert by NME Here I can not say anymore.



I must be getting old though because I was in the mush pit for about 30 minutes but had to leave and stand at the back due to my back hurting !!!

Best concert though this year for me was Feeder. Best concert ever would be AC/DC in 2000 at Wembley Arena. Hope they tour soon and I have heard that a new album is out this year so could mean a tour

Baby news - The baby is now moving higher i.e it is above the navel. Still kicking all the time. Tomorrow I am off to lunch at mates house to meet his new daughter.

Footy News - He has returned. Morrison is back at the Palace. Have to say that I am really chuffed about it. Think AJ and Morrison will be great together. Also think it is great when you think that we AJ and 2 million plus Morrison back after 2 years from Birmingham. Thanks Big Nose Bruce ha ha

Todays Fact - According to studies, men change their minds two to three times more often than women.

No I dont, Yes I do, nah I dont, maybe I do

On this day - Aug 25th 1985
American singer Michael Jackson pays $25 million for the rights to a catalogue of music which includes copyright of more than 5,000 songs, including many by the British group, The Beatles.

Todays Joke -

Acid T-Shirt

Well today during a meeting I discovered the other T-Shirt that was in the bag that got acid on it ! I looked down and I was suddenly was looking down at a crop T-Shirt :-0 I dont understand why it only seems to react when I wear the top. It has been washed but survived that only to fall apart when worn by me ! It's really weird ! Had to hide behind a Black and Red notebook during the meeting and run down the road for another new top !

Tomorrow night I am at the Foo Fighters concert, come on ! I'm well looking forward to it because I can not make the Foo's concert in December. Might be a bit busy with nappies in December :-)

Baby news - Today we have ordered the cot \ bed, Wardrobe and a dresser. Chosen One is now due in less then 100 days.

Footy News - Beat Walsall 3-0 tonight and it looks like we should sign an old boy tomorrow morning. Clinton Morrison looks as though he is coming home. Now am I a bad fan because I could not be arsed going tonight. Well lets just say it will cost me 15 pound to get in plus travel and I get home about midnight to watch a weakened Palace team? I love Palace have a season ticket and get quite a few away games during the season but still some people will think that I am not a real fan because I never went on a Tuesday night. Oh well can not please everyone

Todays Fact - In 1897, Bayer, who is the maker of Aspirin, marketed the drug heroin.

On this day - Aug 23rd 1962
John Lennon, founder-member of The Beatles, marries his childhood sweetheart Cynthia Powell.
1963 The Beatles release 'She Loves You'.


Todays Joke

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and thean pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed.

He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person.

He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need...! a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44
long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit.. it fitted perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a newshirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34.
A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine
and give you one hell of a headache."

Summary:

New suit - £400
New shirt - £36
New underwear - £6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS!!!

Acid Jumper

Well I have not seen the spider so, with a sigh of relief, it meant that I never had to try and catch it and let it outside.

Had a weird one yesterday at the football. As I was sitting down before the game I happen to look down and see a small hole in my fav jumper (Only worn it once before at the Norwich game and we never lost so wore it again) I touched the hole to examine it and it disintegrated ! It started getting bigger and in the end I had to borrow Dads jacket to go to town in because I was meeting up with friends. Anyway I speak to Mrs PF and start going on about how mad it was after the match and she's like "thats really strange because my backpack went like that last week. MMMMmmmmm and your new jumper was in there." Right O what batteries have leaked in your bag? Must of, Then I remember I have a car battery in the boot of the motor so Mrs PF walks out and checks the car and whoops it's leaking ! It's managed to attack some of the other stuff in the car so she got her Dad to get rid of the battery. I was meant to take it back to get a refund so have lost out on that. Took all the carpet out of the boot when Mrs PF got home and have rinsed it all out. I managed to buy a new jumper and did get a strange look when I said that I want them to take all the tags off and I wanted to put it straight on. I would of thought that it was quite common.

Quite expensive though as it cost 60 for the battery, 60 for the old jumper, 35 for new and 30 for the new backpack.

Did the iMac. How nice do they still look. If your interested it's 100 pound. Drop me an email for more info but in a nutshell it's a G3 400 DV OSX 10.3.9 and I will throw in a CD writer.

Would prefer collection from North London but you can pay postage



Baby news - Chosen One is really kicking a lot now and you can see the belly move and everything.

Footy News - Never took a camera but we won 1-0 with Darren Ward getting his first goal for Palace. Ref was awful again.

Todays Fact - More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money printed throughout the world.

On this day - Aug 21st 1959
Hawaii becomes the 50th state of the USA

Nice place, we were there this time last year at the end of our year out. Here is Mrs PF with the statue of Duke Kahanamoku.

Good cause

I have been keeping a close eye on a blogger called Tartan Red on Tour, His link is on the side but here it is again
We have had a few email "chats" and he is a great bloke that is helping raise money for a disability that he has. It is called AtaxiaHe is welsh but dont let that stop you from clicking and having a look at his blog :-)

He currently has 2 signed footballs on eBay and I hope that you will pass the details on to any football fans but particularly Dundee United or St Johnstone fans to click HERE
I would also recommend signing up to his tour and giving some money to a great cause.

Spiderman or should that be Woman?

I was out last night at a work thing as we have re-branded ourselves BUT as I dont talk about work you will have to guess who I work for.. Anyway Mrs PF saw a monster last night and took a photo of it, no not me rolling in drunk but this...



Jeezz it's scary as, I hope that it does not come out tonight as I am home alone. Mrs PF has taken the long drive up to her parents. Got a text saying that she has gone to a car boot, yep on a Friday night she has gone to car boot !! Down in London we go out to live music and over in Shropshire she goes to a car boot :-)

This is a measure of how big and horrible the spider was (not the best photo though)...



I personally am knackered as I have spent the day sorting out the attic as a spare room so we can sort out our real spare room as nursery. Quite proud of myself as I have changed the light, light switch and 2 power sockets plus managed to get the futon up the stairs, well the stairs are more of a ladder. Now sitting waiting my old iMac to format the hard drive before I sell it. So far it has been going for 5 hours ! I am zero(ing) it and writting data across a few times so nobody will be able to get anything from it unless they work for some top spy place. Maybe I am paranoid but dont anyone tell me. Am sure you will see an advert here soon.

Baby news - As mentioned we have almost sorted out the attic for guests so will be making a real start on Chosen Ones room

Footy News - Plymouth at home tomorrow so may take the camera and give you a photo from my seat

Todays Fact - Butterflies taste with their feet.

Unless they are making love.. Photo by Mrs PF last year while travelling in Chaing Mai, Thailand.





On this day - Aug 19th 1953
The England cricket team, under captain Len Hutton, wins The Ashes against Australia for the first time since the controversial 'bodyline' tour of 1932-1933.

Todays Joke - An old one.
Dont forget to check out OJ Simpsons site, at WWW.slash-slash-backslash-escape

Catch the pigeon

I got a tube the other day to work and when I got on at Finchley Road a pigeon got off !! I swear to you, I stepped on the tube and it flew out. No ticket or anything :-0 Guy sitting on the tube said it had been on there since Farringdon and was just walking around the carrage. I'm going to have to start to carry a camera around with me as I do see some strange things around. If I never had a work mobile I would get a camera phone as the quality of those shots will be fine for blogging. Maybe I should look at a cheap 2nd hand one.

Joanna - I have ordered a book on photoshop, The Photoshop CS2 Book for Digital Photographers Scott Kelby - Thanks for the advise

Baby news - Not our Baby news but a very strange man that is running aroung up North in Teeside in his nappy asking women for baby changing areas. Click Here for more info !

Footy News - Finally the transfer that has taken all pre season is about to be completed.
Lyon have announced that they have agreed a £26m fee with Chelsea for Ghana midfielder Michael Essien BBC Details

Todays Fact - Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Not in the cartoons when a mouse comes though.

On this day - Aug 15th 1998
A terrorist bomb explodes in the centre of Omagh, County Tyrone killing 28 and injuring more than 200 others. It's the biggest single incident death toll in recent Northern Ireland history. A splinter group of the IRA, calling itself the Real IRA, claims responsibility.

Todays Joke - Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ‘Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?’

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ‘God Almighty!’ shouted Mary and the teacher said, ‘Very good,’ and Mary fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ‘Who is our Lord and Savior?’ But, Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ‘Jesus Christ!’ shouted Mary and the teacher said, ‘Very good,’ and Mary fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. ‘What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?’ And again, Johnny Jabbed her with the pin.

This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ‘If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!’

The Teacher fainted.

Norwich Away

Took Mrs PF to Norwich on Saturday morning for the football and we stayed over. Norwich is a great town and will go there again if play them. Shame the weather was not great. We really had 4 seasons in a day. Sunny, Pouring, Cloudy and the windy.



Went to a rather good seafood restaurant called Loch Fyne was really really nice. Recommended.

Left this morning after a good breakfast. Mrs PF got a good deal on the hotel, over the internet it was £122 and when she called direct, it was £85 so result

Does this sound weird or does anyone else do this: When I turn the radio up or down I have to leave it on a even number ! Nope, thought it was just me :-) I also do it with the stereo and TV, Anything that has a digital showing of the volume level.

Baby news - Chosen One was very active at the football and also when we were out Thursday night it was kicking when the music was going.

Bought a few more "toys" for our jungle theme nursery. Also got some clothes, Thats it now though until we know if it's a boy or a girl.

Still need to get cot/bed and furniture sorted, need to get a travel system as well.

Footy News - Well we finally got a point and as Yazz would say "the only way is up"

AJ has had to pull out of the England squad because of an injury.

Todays Fact - A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

On this day - Aug 14th 1945: World War II ends.

Japan agrees to surrender to the Allies. The decision, which brought an end to the most costly war in human history, came after a momentous week that saw two U.S. atomic bombs dropped on Japan and a declaration of war by the Soviets. In the evening, 1,000 Japanese army officers attacked the imperial palace with the intention of seizing a recorded message of Emperor Hirohito announcing the surrender; the imperial guards repulsed them. The next day, Hirohito's speech, which asked his people to endure the unendurable, was played on national radio, and hundreds of millions of people around the world celebrated V-J Day. Victory over Japan.

Todays Joke - Thanks to Jane again over at Slothblog

1st day
On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and
shouted into the phone: "Get me a F***ING cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialed The wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No," replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are F***ING talking
to, you F***ING idiot?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director indignantly

"Thank F**K for that!" replied the trainee and slammed down the phone

I'm still here

Just thought I best post to say that I am doing well unlike the Palace !

Well went on Saturday to the game and O Dear what a load of rubbish. There was me meeting a Luton fan from work for pre game beers and after game laughs at him BUT Luton decieded that they should spoil my day ! Well after losing it put me in bit of a downer so instead of going off to a BBQ Party I went to sit, drink and slouch on the couch.

Lost again tonight to Wolves although I never went. Went to smack some golf balls and get some anger out. Been having a bit of a stressful time at work but think I am over the worse of it now.

I started about 2 weeks going to a golf driving range and I enjoy it so I'm going to get a couple of lessons and try on a proper course. Only been twice but was managing to hit most of the balls in a straight line off the mat. Think it is going to be another thing to consume my time. Dont have enough hours now let alone playing golf as well but think it will get me out and walking.

Mrs PF started decorating the attic on the Saturday and it is starting to look like a bedroom rather then a dumping ground for all our books and stuff. Once we have finished it then we can move all the stuff from the spare room to up there and start to make a nursery :-0. I did help on the Sunday.

We also had a look up in the retail parks at Enfield for furniture for the Chosen Ones room but could not see anything we liked. Had the old dont make contact with the salesmans eyes....NO Dont look at him Mrs PF, too late, and then we have to explain that we are just looking and yes..Keith, right, OK, we promise we will come back to you if we see anything. We then take a couple more steps and go through the whole thing again.

What else has happened in the last week. Well I went off to a work pub quiz on Thursday and came last ! Dont know how it happened because our team was sitting with the team that came first ! It was then sent out on an email to all our department that we came last.

Tried to win a guitar on ebay but lost and now keeping thinking that I should of gone higher. Thats the problem though with ebay you just want to win but i was good and set my limit and said no more. Then I sit here 2 days later wishing that I added some more ! So Im still looking for the Fender Jaguar.

"Normal" layout should resume soon but in the meantime heres a quick joke from my Dad.
A bloke is in a queue at the Super Market when he notices that the
rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello
to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him and
although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he
says "sorry do you know me?"

She replies "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of
one of my children"!

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful to
his wife - "Christ"! he says "are you that cracking strip-o-gram on my
stag night that I sha**ed on the snooker table in front of all my mates
whilst your colleague whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a
cucumber up my ar*e?"

No she replies, I'm your son's English Teacher!

The man from Palace he says...............

do do do do.....Andy Johnson ..HE'S STAYING

Bet there is a load of clauses but ho hum he will be given a heros welcome on Saturday.

Looking at the BBS site you would of thought that they would never of survived if he had been off. I think great he is staying but Palace would of kept going if he had been off.

Here is to Saturday and to our man AJ.

Baby news - Mrs PF went to the doctors today and everything is good. The chosen ones heart beat is really strong and Mrs PF is right as rain as well.

Oh and Dan S at work had a little girl last night called Lucy weighing in at 8 pound 10 ounces so his wife never had to be induced.

Footy News - See main !

Todays Fact - By feeding hens certain dyes they can be made to lay eggs with multi-colored yolks.

Never seen them myself but would be cool.

On this day - 2nd August 1934: Hitler becomes Führer

Chancellor Adolf Hitler becomes sole leader of Germany upon the death of President Paul von Hindenburg. The German army swore allegiance to the Führer, who planned the rearmament of Germany and vast territorial expansion. In little more than a decade, the National Socialist (Nazi) Party had risen from a radical splinter group to Germany's ruling party, allowing Hitler to seize powers previously divided among president, chancellor, and the Reichstag. With Hindenburg's death, the last remnants of Germany's democratic government were dismantled, leaving Hitler--a megalomaniac intent on war and genocide--in command of the nation.

Todays Joke - Thanks to Dan M at work for this one who in turn stole it from a man called Chris B.

A lady walks into a BMW dealership and browses around. Suddenly she spots
the most perfect, beautiful car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends
forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart
escapes her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously looks around to see if anyone
has noticed and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns
back, there standing next to her is a salesman. With a pleasant smile he
greets her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today? "
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing
had happened, she smiles back and asks, "Sir, what is the price of this
lovely vehicle? " Still smiling pleasantly, he replies, "Madame, I'm very
sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you are going to sh*t
yourself when you hear the price."

Spot the Spot

OK so what have I done to deserve the biggest spot I have ever seen suddenly decide to introduce itself to the world using my nose as it's platform?

I dont get spots ! I was really lucky when I was growing up and never suffered. Had enough with my eczema to worry about. Thats another story though.

Even Mrs PF who is scared to take the mickey out of spots, we both believe that once you take the piss out of someone else it will happen to you, has said that it is rather large :-(

I'm 33 not 13, I should be worried about the grey hair starting to show on the side of the head, the hair sprouting from my ears, The hair getting a lot thinner, anything but a spot.

Do you know what the worse thing is? It hurts ! I cant stop touching it and everytime I do I can feel the tears wanting to come out ! It throbs ! it's not right I tell yer, It is throbbing. I can actually feel the blood being pumped around the spot and it throbs !!! I am worried that tomorrow in meetings people will be talking to the 2nd head and not looking at me. Maybe I should get some sunglasses for it and introduce it as my siamese twin.

I have to admit that I gave the beast a squeeze earlier and it has not made a difference. It's still there gloading me and looking all shiny. If anything it has made it more painfull.

I just hope that the local kids were looking for a dog called spot and not trying to wind me up.

Better be gone soon. I have a mirror to clean now so I bid you a good night.

Baby news - Still no sign of the friends from work baby yet. It is getting induced on Wednesday.

Mrs PF has been been buying some cool clothes for chosen one. We are also about to start getting stuff for the nursery. Going for a jungle theme.

Footy News - "AJ is bound to go now because I have posted his image up"
Will the last post come back to haunt me. Palace have a press announcement at 09.00

The gossip is that Sven has said that it wont matter that he is playing for Palace in the fizzy league and he is going to withdraw his transfer request.

I can see it going the other way though and he is saying goodbye and that he has to leave. Hope not and not long to find out ! All I want is it sorted and will be tomorrow

Todays Fact - Women end up digesting most of the lipstick they apply.

On this day - 1st Aug 1914 The Great War erupts

World War I begins with Germany's invasion of Luxembourg. The same day, Germany and Russia declare war against each other, and France mobilizes. At the end of July, Europe's tenuous peace collapsed when Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia. By August 5, Russia, France, Belgium, Great Britain, and Serbia had all lined up against Austria-Hungary and Germany. One month later, the bloody Battle of the Marne was fought outside Paris, halting Germany's advance to the sea and effectively deciding the future course of the war. World War I would be a terrible war of attrition, won by whichever side was willing to commit the greater number of men and resources to the lethal trenches.

Todays Joke - The Bartender

A man walks into a bar one night, goes up to the bar, and asks for a beer.

“Certainly, sir, that’ll be one cent.”

“One penny?!” exclaimed the guy.

“That’s right.” The barman replied.

So the guy glanced over at the menu, and asked, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?”

“Certainly sir,” replied the bartender, “but all that comes to real money.”

“How much money?”

“Four cents,” the barman said.

“Four cents?! Where’s the guy who owns this place?”

The barman replied, “Upstairs with my wife.”

“What’s he doing with your wife?”

The bartender smiled. “Same as what I’m doing to his business.”