Another new format

Changed the background colours and added an image that I created in photoshop earlier. Not the easiest program to use in my eyes. Anyone got a tip for a book to help me? I love taking photos so wouldnt mind getting into photoshop.

Went to a stag doo on Wednesday night, very strange night to pick but had a good one. Went to St Albans. Should of been at Palace V Inter Milan but I cant be everywhere.

Baby news - About 4 months to go and we can not wait. My mate (at work) wife is now a week overdue so should have some news of a birth soon. We have about 3 dads to be in the next 3 weeks at work.

Footy News - Off to Palace tomorrow for a friendly against West Ham. Meeting some mates (WH fans) for a beer before the game as well. Going to try and sit in the main stand for a change.

AJ is bound to go now because I have posted his image up. Spurs and Everton are after him if you believe the newspapers. Would rather he went to Everton then anywhere else.

Todays Fact - A spider's silk is stronger than steel.

On this day - 29th July 1588: Spanish Armada defeated

Off the coast of France, an English naval force defeats Spain's so-called Invincible Armada. After hours of furious fighting, the remnants of the massive Spanish fleet broke off and headed north on a long and difficult journey home. Two months earlier, King Philip II had launched the Armada, consisting of 130 ships and 30,000 men, to conquer England. However, Queen Elizabeth and her naval advisers prepared a brilliant defense, employing their superior guns and ships loaded with explosives to decimate the Spanish fleet. After retreating north, the Spaniards sailed around Scotland and Ireland, where the fleet was battered by storms. By the time they returned home in October, more than half the ships had been lost.


Todays Joke -

Can I interest you in.......

So Mr Palace Fan have you ever been called by these phone people.... Well of course I bloody have, every night at the moment !

"Hello sir have you got a mobile"

Well this is the year 2005 and just about every adult in the UK does have one, as does just about every kid over 10 so yep I do. Really you can make my payments cheaper and give me free calls each month, well I have a work mobile and I dont pay for any calls or monthly fees so I guess I win that. Yep goodbye.

"Hello sir do you have a BT phone"

MMMmmmm how do I answer this one? Well I have started saying no and they cant help so we mutually hang up. So thats a good tip.

Sometimes though I cant even understand what they are saying before I realise what is going on I'm not against Indians but can't believe that we are outsourcing marketing and cold calling to India. Well I guess I can....money

So how do we deal with them then. Well first off all register HERE , The Telephone Preference Service (TPS) is a central opt out register whereby individuals can register their wish not to receive unsolicited sales and marketing telephone calls. It is a legal requirement that companies do not make such calls to numbers registered on the TPS.

The original legislation was introduced in May 1999. It has subsequently been updated and now the relevant legislation is the Privacy and Electronic (EC Directive) Regulations 2003.

BT will register you with the above service and give you caller display for free please see HERE

If it takes longer then half a second for an answer HANG UP the calls being routed from abroad.

NEVER say your on BT and dont be too rude as most of the time they are only doing it coz they need money not to annoy you.

OH and if a robot rings you to tell you that you have won a prize before getting excited and looking for a pen say to yourself I have not won and HANG UP

Baby news - Chosen one has been Kicking Mrs PF a bit less today and she says she feels like a barrel. Most days she is mostly getting a seat but some days not.

Footy News - Well it looks like my Dad and brother are going to watch the Inter Milan reserves on Wednesday. Shame all the best players stayed at home.

Todays Fact - Many people in parts of China eat insects. Some common insects are bean worms, scoprions, and locusts.

Mrs PF and I ate Cockroaches, Locusts, Frogs plus a few other things in Bangkok all deep fried in spices and they were rather nice.

On this day - 25th July 1603
James VI of Scotland is crowned James I of England.

Todays Joke - Don't knock on Death's door.

Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...

Nutters on 2 wheels

Been watching the Moto GP from Donnington today Rossi is an amazing rider, I used to watch it in my youth because my Dad is a big bike fan. I'm old enough to remember Barry Sheen and funny enough I watching today when Kenny Roberts got mentioned and I thought to myself "He cant still be racing" well nope it's Kenny Jr !!

The weather was pouring and the bikes were skidding out from them they really are great handlers of a bike.

Rossi just won, He is now 104 points ahead !!!

Baby news - Baby is moving quite a bit now and I felt my first movement yesterday :-) very happy about that.

Footy News - Palace had a 1-1 draw, Inter pulled out of the tour and have now agreed to come to London, we will wait to see. I can not go because I have a stag doo. Yep a stag doo on a Wednesday, very strange day to pick

Todays Fact - SONY was originally called 'Totsuken'.

On this day - 24th July 1936
In Britain, the GPO (General Post Office) introduces TIM - the automated speaking clock using the voice of Miss Ethel Cain - a telephonist at the GPO's Victoria telephone exchange in London.

Todays Joke - Thanks to Jane from Slothblog, 1 of my fav blogs.

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, she is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there "Hind Lick Maneuver." But I ain't never seed nobody do it!"

Terrorists - Whats new

Since the formation of the Metropolitan Police, (29 September 1829) many tragic events have taken place. Here is a run down of terrorist acts that occurred within the Metropolitan Police Districts.

It starts in 1867 with the fenians, then Hitler, IRA, some other less known wanabees and finally our new group the Secret Group of al Qaeda's Jihad in Europe.

There has been around 30 or so bombs going off in London since it started and not thats including the Blitz. 100's have been killed in terrorists bombs (Over 40,000 were killed in the 2nd World War) in London but we keep going. Where I live in North London during the 90's Bombs went off at Wood Green, Hampstead, Camden even in 2001 Hendon Post office was bombed twice.

Its not nice knowing that it is happening and will continue to happen. In the future I have to start thinking about moving because I will need a bigger house and can not afford to stay in London (At least in the areas I like :-0) and it's not because of bombs BUT not having the worry that something may happen to my wife and unborn child will be a relief.

I see that they have shot a suspect this morning, shame he could not be taken alive and made to talk about who's and why's. Seems strange why they shot him 5 times when they were on top of him. Guessing he must of been carrying explosives. Might be more news on this from www.bbc.co.uk after this post goes out.

QUICK EDIT - A blog I read, Another Constable, has images of the suspects, Link is on the left hand side

Quick scroll down to the joke for a laugh, all too serious here !!

Baby news - Chosen one is a wriggling but I still aint a feeling

Footy News - Palace started their pre seson tour with a loss in Germany to Czech Republic side FK Teplice with both sides reduced to ten men. We lost 2-1 and the goal was scored by AJ - shock horror a penalty :-)

Play again tomorrow

Todays Fact - The first toilet being flushed in a motion picture was in the movie Psycho.

On this day - 1298
Battle of Falkirk. English troops use longbows for the first time to defeat a Scottish army.

Todays Joke - This comes a friend at work. I also have been emailed a joke from a blogger so if you have a joke email me and I will credit you when I post it.

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. The
first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a
huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show the others who is the boss,
he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best
pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions
will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimpanzee house, he is
attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two
chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to
the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the
corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South
American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked and stung by the
bees.
He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what
to do and throws them into the lion's cage - because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another
lion and says, "What's the food like here?"

The other lions say, "Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish and chimps
with mushy bees."

Bit slow to blog

Before I go on, sorry for the lack of posts but real life is busy :-), Well the last post about a mans BBQ has gone to pot as my In-Laws have gone for a gas BBQ, yep shock horror the bricks and grill have gone and they have a really nice looking BBQ at a price that made me feel sick with envy. Lets just say it cost less then half of our gas bottle !!! (and you would get change out of a score*)

Seems to be turning into a BBQ blog recently !! but heres is a pic:

So where have the Palace Fans been, well we have been glad all over (Palace Song) at my little sisters wedding we had a great weekend up there North near Barnsley. Best thing about weddings is seeing the rest of the family Oh and of course 2 people joining together, It was a little bit like an episode of Footballers Wifes with all the mad hair of these youngsters today and cool suits. Here is a photo of my sister with her new husband (Mr Shef Wed Fan) and also of my 2 nieces that were flower girls:

Everyone looked good but the above were a cut above the rest of us.

*A score is 20 British Pounds

Baby news - Have taken a photo of the 20 week scan so hopefully you can see the baby. I never ever used to be able to see the picture of a baby when I saw a scan but I can now, must be once you have one.

Footie news - Still a bit worried that AJ is going to leave Palace but everyone sees to be going for Peter Crouch so fingers crossed. Palace have flown out to Germany today for 2 matches, 1 tomorrow and 1 Saturday

*Just seen that Liverpool are about to sign Peter Crouch

Todays Fact - A lion's roar can be heard from more than five miles away.

On this day - 1545
English warship Mary Rose, pride of the battle fleet of King Henry VIII, sinks in the Solent with the loss of 700 lives. The ship is raised on October 11, 1982 and taken to Portsmouth Dockyard.

Todays Joke - FRENCH TERROR ALERT RAISED

Prime Minister Chirac has officially raised the French terror alert from
'Run' to 'Hide'.

There are only two higher alert levels in France, which are 'Surrender' and
'Collaborate'.
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white
flag factory - effectively crippling their military capability.

A mans BBQ

Spent last weekend at the In Laws and had a great time (Have to say that as they read the blog ;-0) We were going to club together with Bro in law and get a gas BBQ for them as a birthday present. Well, we have been told not to bother and get a wireless router because he already has a BBQ, (A router is good because then we can all use the internet when we are there on our laptops, hang on a minute... he wants the router so he can stay on his computer and not give it up to us for our internet fix :-0)

Anyway this is a mans BBQ, none of your poncy gas like mine ! (See my BBQ post from before for pic of mine)



Baby news - Had our 2nd Scan today and everything is looking good. The baby is right in the middle of the growth lines so not too big or small.

Footie news - Vieira is off, Arsenal accept Juve's Vieira , He has given 9 years to Arsenal so as a nice change from recent posts I am going to say good luck and all the best. Just hope he does not have any racist problems in Italy as before.

Palace released the squad numbers today AJ number 8 still there.

Todays Fact - There are more female than male millionaires in the United States.

On this day - 1789: Bastille stormed

On July 14, 1789, militant Parisian workers storm and dismantle the Bastille, a royal fortress in Paris. Originally constructed in the 14th century, the Bastille was first used as a state prison in the 17th century. Although the average annual number of prisoners was only about 40, the Bastille came to symbolize the tyranny of the Bourbon monarchs. On the morning of July 14, 1789, when only seven prisoners were being held, a mob descended on the Bastille and demanded the arms and munitions stored there. When the prison governor refused, the people stormed the fortress and freed the prisoners. This dramatic action signaled the beginning of the French Revolution, a three-year reign of terror and political turmoil in which King Louis XVI was overthrown and roughly 1,000 people, including the king and his wife Marie Antoinette, were sent to the guillotine. The Bastille was demolished during the Revolution. Today, July 14--Bastille Day--is celebrated as a national holiday in France.

Todays Joke - Jimmy Carr says;

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard,
but I was
never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me
to sleep at night.

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind
people were given pointed sticks?

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day.
She said,
"Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All
right, but we're not going to get much done."

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a
goat.

You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells
you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my
favourite
flower?"
And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't
listening...Self-raising?"

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots
and punched someone in the face.

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have
thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".

I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take
the Girl out of Cork ...

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along.
Turned out it was a bloody hoax.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be
both a winner and a loser at the same time.

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right
to arm bears.

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent
most of our family holidays in Customs.

Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you
on its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince
yourself that
they're enjoying it as well.

A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job
please".
The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you
go
join the circus?"
The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".

I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've
already got one!"

It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.

I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm
not very good at it.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a
tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of
fire.
They're trained for that.

I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this
sign:
"This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I
feel?"

Cards

Today London is getting back on with it. Mrs PF said that it was still a bit quiet but OK.

I went as normal to my place of work in Rickmansworth, a place famed only as far as I can tell for being in the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy book by Douglas Adams but it never even made it into the film !

I went to one of the many card shops that we have there and could not believe it when I went to locate the wedding card section, it made me smile, it went engagement cards followed by Wedding and anniversary then the one that I couldn't believe congratulations on your divorce !!! There really is a card for all occasions.

Baby news - Mrs PF is starting to feel the baby a lot more. I hope that I will feel it soon.

Looking to create a CD from my song collection for Mrs PF and the chosen one to listen to so any ideas give me a comment.

Footie news - Rio wants 120 thousand a week and has been offered 110 thousand but thats not enough !!! I have not ever swore on this blog since day 1 but Rio get a fucking real life. The 110 thousand a week is over 600 times the national minimum wage for a 37.5 week (181.87p). It's 5.75 million pound a year !! You had a crap season and won fuck all but want a pay rise, If I had a crap performance over the year I would kiss my pay rise goodbye. Sorry about the swearing but come on, whats a Nurse earn? and she saves lives not the odd goal.

Todays Fact - The word Eskimo literally means 'raw meat eater'.

I thought it was Man in cold place but there you go.

On this day - 1848 In London, the official opening of Waterloo Station

Todays Joke - FOOTBALLERS, why do I spend so much of my hard earned cash watching these jumped up Charlies !

Yep I know it's the same as before.

You wont win

Today is a very sad day after the jubliation of yesterday. Mrs PF works near Covent Garden so got a bit stranded and had to walk quite far for almost 2 hours but did manage to grab a taxi in the end to get home. I work in Rickmansworth so I am based out of London. Have heard from most of our friends so thats good news. Our heart goes out to everyone involved.

I think that the organisation of the services was brilliant, considering that half the Met force are at G8 it was good that the army helped out. Its great that the bus and train networks are already starting to resume services.

I'm not scared as we have been waiting for it since 911. We have had it before the IRA and the terrorists will not win. I am, if being honest, glad that it was not as bad as it could of been because the death toll, although rising, could of been a lot higher.

Take care all.

Olympics coming to London

Good News, London has won the race to host the Olympics.

I cant wait for this event to come to London. It really is going to be good and to all those moaning about the added costs to your council bills, think about the future that your kids are going to have with all these new facilities. Some of you may even have the next champ coming home from school today ! If you dont like it move.

Wish I bought in East London now because those houses are going to start going up!

No other post today as I am out having a beer or three tonight.

Take it easy,

Palace Fan

Oh and sorry about the rant about Steven Gerrald yesterday as it seems that he has changed his mind again and is now staying at Palace. Come on AJ now you !

Rock tunes

I see today that my Blog picture is in the news after 1 of the apostles has vanished into the sea Eight left I have read somewhere that it is going to be another 1000 years before another goes though.

Upgraded my iTunes today and my iPod so I can listen to these podcasts. Seems to be a new buzz word around. Who knows maybe I will look into creating one.

Baby news - As you may of noticed there is a new bit on the top of the blog and it will tell people how pregnant Mrs PF is and how long we have left of our quiet nights :-). I hope you like it.

Footie news - Another day and another footballer has told his club that he wants to leave after saying he will stay Gerrard He has been offered a contract of £100,000 a week. Is their Captain and has just won the Champions League final Currently has 2 years left on a £60,000 a week contract and is at his boyhood club i.e. the team he supports. He wants out because they took too long to offer him a contract. What ever next, I suppose he wanted to be the player manager. If I was a Liverpool fan I would be grateful that he is off and the team will get at least 32 million to rebuild for next season.

He has waited and waited hoping that Liverpool would accept a transfer and therefore he would be due money from the fransfer and as it is now he get nowt as he has put the transfer request in.

Todays Fact - Farmers in England are required by law to provide their pigs with toys!

Mrs PF is a vegetarian and always says to me how intelligent pigs are. Will keep an eye out for completed jigsaws next time I'm on the farm.

On this day - Ooo la la
1946: Bikinis introduced

On July 5, 1946, French designer Louis Reard unveils a daring two-piece swimsuit at a swimming pool in Paris. Micheline Bernardini, a Parisian showgirl who didn’t object to appearing nearly nude in public, modeled the new fashion. Unsure of what to call his creation, Reard spontaneously dubbed it bikini, inspired by news-making U.S. nuclear tests taking place off the Bikini Atoll that week. Before long, bold young women in bikinis were causing a sensation along the Mediterranean coast. For a time in Spain and Italy, the wearing of the swimsuit on public beaches was banned.

Todays Joke - FOOTBALLERS, why do I spend so much of my hard earned cash watching these jumped up Charlies !

Guitar Blues

Gutted. Found an American Jaguar '62 reissue for only £499 on a website over the weekend so bought it but got a phone call today saying that they had messed up the discription and it should of been a Jap one :-( To be honest thats what I though because the american one is over a grand Look here it's now back to a Jap one I could of gone on and on but dont think I had a leg to stand on and the terms and conditions on the site state the following:

All prices on this website are subject to change without notice. Management reserves the right to refuse sale. Special offers subject to availability. While we try to maintain correct pricing throughout the website, errors may occur. In the case of such an error we will contact you for confirmation or cancellation of your order.

This is what the description did say and how much it should cost from another site.

Oh well SO if you know of anyone with an American Jag or Telecaster for sale please let me know I have cash waiting !!!

Baby news - Mrs PF felt the Chosen One move last night ! Happened after I talked quite loudly at the tummy. She is very happy about it.

Footie news - Looks like Everton have switch their target from AJ to Bellamy Kind of good news but I still think that AJ might go to Newcastle so it's not really good news. Still hope that he is at the Palace come the start of the season.

Todays Fact - Human birth control pills work on gorillas.

On this day - U.S. DECLARES INDEPENDENCE:
July 4, 1776

In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the Continental Congress adopts the Declaration of Independence, which proclaims the independence of the United States of America from Great Britain and its king.

Todays Joke - The idiot that cut me up a treat on the way to work.

Testing new design

A work in progress and it has taken me nearly all day messing about with it all so that I can still use blogger.com with it all.

Nearly there but some more work needed :-)

Learning lots of new stuff re coding and working out what parts to take from the original blogger design to keep all posts etc.

Eyes getting tired so not posting the normal BUT will post tomorrow about a guitar that I am trying to buy through a website, I am quite sure that they have used the wrong price on site so I bought it and called them up and it is out of stock MMmmm

Let me know what you think about the design. Think I need a better "logo"

Noticed I have lost my quick edit but hey I am not a web designer !!!! More to the point I am not even that technical anymore (I used to a computer network analyst)