That will teach him..... or will it

When I was younger and my sister was born I was around 9 years older then her and when ever she bashed herself or fell over the imortal words of support and advice from my mum would be "She'll learn from that" OR "She wont do that again in a hurry"

Max bashed his foot on the end of the changing table so I turned round to Faye and said "He wont do that in a hurry" turned back just in time to catch him doing it again.

I guess you must be a bit older before you start "learning"



Off soon to meet a mate for a pint before the football game. Crystal Palace V Crewe and hopefully we can get the point to make sure we are in the play offs.

My mate that I am meeting is a Brighton fan and lives at the bottom of the road from the ground :-0, for those that do not know, Brighton are our biggest rivels.

The only good thing that if we dont go up this year is my top 3 teams that I cant stand shouldnt be in the league. Brighton, Millwall and Sheff Utd

Google Calendar

Been looking at Google Calendar and looks quite good that I can use it with the Apple software iCal.

I did a search of Crystal Palace on the public calendars and my calendar of fixtures was on there ! Forgot to be honest that I uploaded it to icalx. I still try and update it when I can and it still updates, wonder how many people link to it. To use my personal calendar though I'm going to have to get a bit more clever because I do not want them as a public calendar so therefore can not just upload and link through iCalx as it requires a password. My thought at the moment is to export the information from iCal and import into google calendar. Now that sounds like a lot of work but the plan is to try and script it so I just click on a button OR schedule the script OR I could continue to use my iPod !!

Wembley

I know Wembley are having all sorts of problems BUT everytime I go past it I find it an amazing sight.

It's a shame Palace wont be there this year BUT I have my fingers crossed for my first Cardiff visit, I missed the play off final 2 years ago because I was on our year out. I have made it to Cardiff City's ground and the fans were quite scary to be honest. The most hostle ground I have been to yet ! including the time I got slapped at Birmingham.

Regarding the video service from YouTube it has not worked for 24 hours but seems OK now, it might of been scheduled maintenance that I never got a message about because I have only just joined.

We went to the Welsh Harp on Saturday in an attempt to fly the kite again but had more problems i.e. no wind, Anyway I took a photo of Wembley and also took a "zoomed" up one and here they are.

Click to view larger sizes:

Rockpool

Hi all this is a test of a video service that I might use. 

It is hosted on YouTube.com, I want to see if it embeds it better then the one I did i.e. I dont want it to play unless you hit start / play

The video itself was filmed while we were on holiday.



Looks like I am going to have to play with the size.
Sorted I had to reduce by a 1/3. If you want you can click on the video for a slightly larger video.

Bouncing

Personally I'm not sure about having the video embeded as I dont like it when I go to websites and they have sound going. At night i.e. now, I browse about with 1 headphone in my ear because I dont want to wake my wife OR Max up.

I guess I best practice what I preach SO I have posted another video here, this was also taken a couple of days ago and is Max using his door boucer.

Soon I will do a "real" blog and think about something to write about but at the moment I am enjoying playing with the iMac and iMovie.

Laters everyone,

Giggle movie

You must have quicktime installed to view the giggle movie.

This is the Link

Giggle

Nothing is quite like making your baby giggle !!

This movie has been saved down to web quality so not great. In advance I am sorry about the James Blunt in the background but Max seems to like it.

Mark - As you can see the chops are back !!!

And yes I know I make all sorts of strange voices and sounds !
Here you go it is 1.8 meg and is Quicktime format.

Removed embedded video The link is in the post above

Hope you enjoyed. I hope that the sound kicking in straight away is not too much of a problem but let me know and I will go back to just linking to the page rather then embedding it.

Lazy Frogs

Nope, I have not witnessed a frog getting a cab rather then hopping home BUT I saw this on the BBC website and it made me laugh. Quite a fair point if you ask meLazy Frogs

A furious airline boss has blasted the French as "lazy frogs" after protests disrupted services to the UK.

Philip Meeson, the chairman and chief executive of Yorkshire-based budget carrier Jet2.com, launched his attack in an article on the company website.

The article's headline said: "Jet2.com condemns French strike action and calls for lazy frogs to get back to work!"

The French air traffic controllers' union, CGT, reacted angrily, saying Mr Meeson's language was "not acceptable".

A CGT spokesman said: "It is easy for them to ask some people to go back to work but if people in France do not agree with the government it is a very good reason [to strike]."

In the past week, the airline has twice been hit by protests in France over new employment rules for young workers.

Services from France to Leeds-Bradford Airport were disrupted on Monday when French students protesting against the laws staged a runway demonstration at Chambery airport in the Alps.

More than 250 passengers were prevented from travelling and eventually arrived in West Yorkshire several hours late.

Last Tuesday, Jet2 flights were grounded when air traffic controllers joined a general strike in France.

Another low-cost airline, Ryanair, was forced to cancel about 80 flights on Tuesday because of the industrial action.

Mr Meeson, addressing his comments to the air traffic controllers, said: "After a token stoppage why can't you just sort the matter out amicably without bringing thousands of people around the world, who give your country huge economic wealth, into the argument?


It seems to me that either the air traffic controllers or the students run France at the moment
Jet2 boss Philip Meeson

"Whilst France is undeniably a beautiful country... we are appalled and quite frankly tired of the air traffic controllers' old-fashioned attitude to dealing with any issues they may have.

"In short, we urge the French air traffic controllers to get back to work or get another job."

British Euro MPs said the Jet2 boss was damaging Anglo-French relations.

Labour MEP Robert Evans said: "These cheap and derogatory remarks are beneath even a budget airline. We really have got to be more mature in our relationships."

Chris Davies, the leader of Britain's Liberal Democrat MEPs, said: "This is a stupid and crass remark, given that we want the French to visit Britain as much as Brits want to travel to France.

"But there is no doubt that the French are cutting their own throats by striking at every opportunity."

Mr Meeson said: "The 'lazy frogs' comment was meant to be a bit of fun. It was tongue-in-cheek. After all, the French call us 'les rosbifs'.

"It seems to me that either the air traffic controllers or the students run France at the moment."

Max eats solids

Here is a movie of max
It's 3.7 meg

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to me !

On this Day James Simmonds was born into the world.

Here is a picture of me at 4 months, check out the big feet !!!!



And here is me on my birthday very hung over after a great night out last night.



Yep last night Mrs Palace Fan and I hit the pubs of Hampstead and had a good Thai. It was the first time since Max came along and we had a great time drinking our way round ! We could of kept going but on a Monday night all the pubs closed at "normal" time. Will go to Camden next time because you can keep on drinking there !!

We have now dropped the price of our house to 250K to get it below the stamp duty hike. Anyone want a house in North London? Here are the details. House to buy ! email me rather then calling the agent !!

Max is getting louder and louder at the moment and is "chatting" away all the time. For those just browsing through, Max is my baby boy and not some bloke who cant talk !

He is starting to turn all over the place and yesterday he tried his first bit of baby rice. Dont think he enjoyed it that much. I will try and get a movie up of him tasting it.

I'm off to call the fire brigade and let them know I am going to be lighting the candles tonight !

Been away

Hello All,

Back from our week away in North Devon, we stayed in a place called Ilfracombe and had a nice chilled out week driving around the place. We also went to a town called Combe Martin and for a little more about the place vist this blog, Combe Martin A good read and some cool photos. It's in my RSS feed update list.

I took the laptop down BUT could not get on any wireless links so no updates. I had a go on iWeb and must say that it was good. Biggest problem though is the size of the photo files. I only did some quick testing and the size of the site was huge. One thing I have noticed to do next time though is export the photos as "web size" 640x480 and then re-import them to iPhoto and stick them in a iWeb folder and when you drag your photos drag the smaller web versions into the iWeb application. I have had a look at it uploaded and it is slow but take a look and check out the blog etc., As mentioned it was very easy to do and next time I will load smaller photo files up to help speed things up. iWeb Site

I now have another week off from work and going to use it to visit my Mum, meet some friends, look for a new house and spend more time with Faye and Max. Think they will be sick of the sight of me by Friday !

While away though some Bastard has reversed into my car and it now has a shape of a tow bar in the bonnet ! I'm quite sure that it is 1 of 3 4x4's that always park near me so i am going to be measuring the height and with a bit of luck get a match. I will also if possible drive right up to the tow bar and check the shape. What got me as well was that the dent has been "cleaned" i.e. someone has actually rubbed the dent to see how deep it is (I have a dirty car !) Will be out tomorrow with tape measure in hand. This is on top of getting smacked up the rear last week by an old fool in a car without ABS and I still need to see a body shop about getting that sorted. It's only a few scratches or at least that is what I hope because years ago a friend of mine thought that and when she had her MOT it turned out the car was a write off because it had put the sub frame out of shape.

Take care,

Dont work too hard !!!

My boss sent this out and has asked us to give each other a small nudge as we go past !



I have had to make it smaller so it fits, click on it, view a diff size and go large. Sure there is a joke there !

BBC in press error

Not sure myself.....

Dear James,

Thank you for your interest in the 2011 Census, and in particular our
intention to collect information on national identity.

I can confirm that we are intending to collect information for each UK
national identity, including a tick-box allowing people to identify
themselves as English. The omission of this category in some press reports
was simply an error.

Yours sincerely,

Alexa Courtney

Research Officer
Questionnaire Design and Content
2011 Census

How sat-nav rats brought jams to country lanes

A story from the times online:

How sat-nav rats brought jams to country lanes
It may be the quickest route according to your in-car guide, but increasingly the technology is sending drivers on rat runs through obscure rural byways – and the locals aren't happy, report Dipesh Gadher and Luke David of The Sunday Times
Full story.
Sat Nav Rat runs

Here is my post from a while ago.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Chelsea Tractors
What is the point of these 4x4's? This is one i saw earlier I am thinking that anyone that does not own a farm or at least goes off road and I'm not talking about mounting the kerb outside the local school should have to pay more road tax to drive them. Well lets face it they take up half the bloody road. Reason for the moan; well since everyone has got the system of a national banks computer system in their BMW X5's they all can navigate themselves off the M25 jams and use my "secret" way to work. I use the country lanes to navigate myself to work and now they are turning into jams as well :-( The only bonus is that I get my little 206 behind them and know that they dont give way so all cars coming the other way end up in the hedges and I sneak along behind them. Thinking of selling spray on mud so they can at least look the part.

Census to include Welsh, Scottish, Irish or British option - what about English?

My 100th post and I go political:

Story from BBC NEWS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/uk/4786672.stm


Census to gauge national identity
The national Census is to include a question on national identity so people
can say if they consider themselves Welsh, Scottish, Irish or British.
Census co-ordinator Joy Dobbs announced the Office of National Statistics
(ONS) had decided to respond to a "strong demand... particularly from the
Welsh".

The ONS received 2,000 submissions from central and local government,
academia, business and members of the public.

The 2011 survey may also ask people their earnings and preferred language.

A possible question on earnings will ask which of a series of income
brackets people fall into and to indicate, from a list of options, how they
earn it.

Local authorities asked for a topic on languages to be included as many were
now dealing with "a range of communities speaking a wide number of
languages".

Questions on marital status are being extended so there is a series of
equivalent ones on civil partnerships.

Ethnic diversity

But the £300m poll for England and Wales will not ask about sexual
orientation, following concerns about the quality and accuracy of responses,
given the forms are addressed to whole households.

Questions asking whether people live in a tower block or have a bath, shower
or toilet at home are being replaced by more relevant enquiries about their
quality of housing.

The census monitors population age, ethnic diversity, household size and
housing demand.

It is used to decide how to allocate local authority cash and where to site
schools, old people's homes, shops and neighbourhood renewal programmes.

I ask you to send an email to them:
To: 'info@statistics.gov.uk'
Subject: Census to include Welsh, Scottish, Irish or British option - what
about English?
Importance: High

Office for National Statistics,
Customer Contact Centre,
Room 1.015,
Cardiff Road,
Newport,
NP10 8XG. Email:- info@statistics.gov.uk


Dear Sir/Madam,

I am strongly objecting to The Office of National Statistics National
Identity Census giving options for people to say if they consider themselves
Welsh, Scottish, Irish or British, but giving no option for people to say
that they are ENGLISH.

I am ENGLISH and I always say that I am if asked, and there a millions of
people who say they are English when asked about their national identity.

Please ensure that you provide the option for people to say that they are
English. Not having this option in your survey amounts to racial
discrimination against the English.

Yours Faithfully

Well it looks like it is me that is a jinx for the poor Palace.

In the first half it looked the Eagles had bird flu we we're not at the races and Leeds we're so much better then us.

We looked better in the second half and guess what...... Scored when I had left :-0 I left with about 5 minutes to go so I could get the fast train back to London Bridge.

Lots of police because it being Leeds and Millwall playing at home as well.

To go or not to go......

I missed football again on Saturday and we won 4-1 according to my dad and brother it was the best we have played all season.

It always seems to happen to when I dont go, now I'm thinking of writing to Simon Jordan the Chairman and asking if he wants to buy my season ticket back from me and give some sort of payment for not turning up and jinxing the team !!

Take the year we went travelling. I still bought the season ticket went to the first couple of games and then left to travel the world leaving the ticket with the hope of getting some money for the games that people used it. Didnt get much BUT we did get promotion through the play offs. So the season i'm not there we go up. When I was back I made an effort to get to quite a lot of games and well we got relegated on the last game of the season away to Charlton. No prize for guessing who was in the stands watching the game.....

Well I am going to the game on Saturday V Leeds so lets hope it's not me :-0

Baby News: Max has been great and is smiling all the time now his sleep pattern is good. He goes down after his bath at 7pm every night and then we are waking him at 11pm for a feed and he is going to about 3 or 4 on his own when he needs a feed and then we wake him again at 7am. Hopefully it wont be too long before he goes through.

He is also holding his head up really well so we have bought him a bebe pod and he loves sitting in it. Faye puts him in the chair in the mornings.



This is him relaxing on the bed.



Finally we have him playing with a friend. His friend Joel is 6 weeks older then him and Max looks like he has caught him up.



I will try not to leave it so long before the next post........

This is a test. I am using a new widget on the apple mac. More later

James

Daddy's Day

Hi yer, Sorry for the slight holiday from the blogging world but it's getting busier !

So as mentioned we never won the lottery we also never won when I put all the money on lucky dips for the Lotto draw. The only result is that I no longer have to keep the syndicate running. All the money has gone and I only ended up a couple of quid out of pocket. This is one reason why I wont do it. I always end up making up the money to get another lucky dip line and I'm also bound to put some money in for someone that can not get the money to me ontime or something. I was a lot tougher this time though because last time I was about £7 down. Oh well.

The title, right oh yeah, well today I had to take a day off work to look after Max because Faye went to visit some relatives and didnt want to take Max. So today was the very first time that I have looked after him during the day for any reasonable amount of time. I have looked after him for a night but that does not really count as he is sleeping for most of it.

My day started at 3am for the feed, Faye usually does all the night feeds if I have work the next day, It could of been Max's quickest feed yet but it felt like a long time to me. I went to the football and never got in until just before midnight and I dont know if you are like me BUT I need to relax if I have been out all night in the fresh air so I never went to bed until about 1am. So I'm up at 3am and get him fed in under half hour. He had all his feed (180ml) and was burped before going back to sleep. I have to say that last night was a great night for Max, he went from from 7pm - 3am and then I woke him at 7am !! Faye changed him while I stumbled off rubbing my eyes to get the next bottle of milk. He was fed and washed by 8 and that gave us a bit of play time so did that before putting him down for sleep and waving Mummy out of the door. The next few hours are a blur of preparing milk bottles, washing up, sterilising bottles and getting ready for a walk that Faye had arranged for me with her anti natal friend. To be honest I thought I was meeting all the girls and doing some big buggy walk with loads of mums so the thought of just Lauren was good and never filled me with fear and a strange sense of weirdness being with lots of new mums ! We did a huge walk all round Hampstead Garden Suburb and I saw loads of houses that just make you jealous. Saw Jonathon Ross's house, Richard and Judy were also on our walk route and there a few other famous people that live here. I puffed my way round talking about cars so thats not too bad. She is after a car and it had to be my nightmare car the 4x4 but oh well at least we talked about cars. Managed to get back at 2pm for Max's next feed and then it was play until 4pm at that point Faye came home and looked after us both ! I have managed to video lots of today and hopefully will be able to post a video of some of our day. It was great and I loved every minute of it. Can not wait until next time.

Max is 11 weeks old today.

Saw a thing about google doing stats for blogs so take a click over to this site http://www.measuremap.com/ I signed up today for it so we will see.

Footy News: I dont know what me and my Dad have done in a past life but we never deserved to have to watch Sheff Wed V Palace on Saturday just gone. It was terrible both teams were crap and the ref was the worst ref I have ever seen. My brother must of been a saint in a past life because he had the good sense not to go. (My Sister lives near there so at least we never had to come all the way home as well)

Jane over at slothblog must be glad she never went as well because she is a Wednesday fan (I think)

QPR last night was better and we won 2-1 but I'm really unsure of our manager Dowie at the moment, he just seems to make some very strange tatical choices.

Here is Max and the S is for Simmo

Cranky and dribbling

Well we have not won the lottery at work, we got about £ 25 from all our lines and putting that back into lucky dips for Saturdays draw.

Baby News:
Max is 10 weeks old this Wednesday and we have a feeling that he might even
be starting to teeth. We hope not because we have finally starting getting
him into some sort of routine but yesterday he was bit "cranky" and dribbling,
little bit like me after a heavy night to be honest, but after some
searching thought it might be his teeth so I rubbed his gums and man did he
start chilling and gave the biggest smile he has done yet !!!

This evening he seems fine so doubt it is his teeth.


This is us having a sing song.



Footy News:
The fan who threw his season ticket towards Middlesbrough manager Steve
McLaren will be allowed back into The Riverside. (The Sun)
See here

For punishment I think they should make him go Home and Away to watch Boro
!!!! boom boom

Viz letters (Thanks to Michelle for these)

Hats off to the England cricketers for their achievements in the Ashes this
summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC Sports
personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament against a nation with
a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then never shutting up
about it makes me proud to be British.
Ben Hunt

The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of heart
disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are living too long
and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish they'd make their
minds up.
John

'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says.
Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30.
Colin Hill

I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was a
mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal Mail lose around 2
million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I would trust the
delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the extreme. She was sent by DHL
next day delivery.
L Palmer, London

The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD pirates
goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make from legal
record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they stop breaking the
law, so will I.
P Boddington, Ringway

Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just like
to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's m!nge. He
hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh?
P, Leeds

On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to reach the
final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to be a correct
answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate Jeremy Clarkson
with?' to which I confidently replied '*unt'. Not only was I told the answer
was incorrect, but I was asked by the holiday rep to leave the premises
immediately! Has anyone else experienced such appalling treatment whilst
holidaying with one's family?
Noel, Leeds

My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing board
cover as her. Can anyone think of a more mundane and pointless remark to
make than this?
Alun Daniel

I'll never understand my neighbour. He has recently started wheel-clamping
his own caravan when he finds he has inadvertently parked it in his own
drive! I wonder if he is a sadist, a masochist or both.
Alan Thakray

Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life of Brian
wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?

On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in Australia
have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've obviously never
been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road
Alan J., London

Hats off to the American police. They arrive at Michael Jackson's Neverland
ranch to arrest him a mere six months after he admits climbing into bed with
young boys on worldwide TV. Perhaps they should get some faster cars.
T Barnham, London

Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris patterns
and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on muslim cleric Abu Hamsa.
Les, Barnsley

How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million
selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's football
match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one law for the rich
and another for the poor.
Reg Ashcroft, Bradford

The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in Britain,
a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it just me, or is it
a bit harsh that the government know and haven't told the poor sods?
John Campbell, e-mail

Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What about
Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on about galaxies
for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius.
Mike Woods, e-mail

With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces soldiers try
to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis
in the hunting team? They found the tw*t quickly enough the last time he
played hide and seek with them.
Shuggie, e-mail

Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with the
exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters. I hope
that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their splendid sense of
humour.
Chris Scaife, Jesmond

I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David Kelly
took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much, but isn't this
taking gloating just a little too far?
Dave Owen, Edinburgh

I was extremely saddened to hear of Richard Whiteley's recent death. But I
was cheered to imagine his life support machine making the famous Countdown
"da-da, da-da, da-da-da-da! Booooooo!" sound as he took his final breaths.
Tripod

I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad is
Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.
Stan

What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being the
world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that.
Thomas J