Its grim up north but they love their dogs xx

I saw this today on email :-0

You have to love the judge's comments.
News from Yorskhire
Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:

"A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.

"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."

He repeated the rape allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.

His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness

Story is Here

Thanks for the Palace comments, big hello to another Palace fan called James.

Baby News: Faye has now finished work and looking forward to "resting"

Crystal Palace 2 Liverpool 1

Get in there !!!

Report from BBC site is here

More tomorrow

Hello Mum

I'm not a huge fan of Eastenders but remember it fondly from the past when Ethel with Willy would be talking to MMMmmm damn it I cant think of her name. Got it Lou Beale, that hurt the old memory banks !! Who in turn would be shouting at Arthur to get a life and Pauline to see that Pete was OK on the stall. Where was drugged up Mark and why Michelle always round the pub talking to Sharons old man Den and why he was serving another portion of divorce after closing time.

Arr Happy days hey. Well as I said I have not really been watching but had to watch tonights one in the background. There it was the brothers are back. Yep the Mitchells are back and they looked pissed off. Give it to them Phil and Grant and welcome back to the East End :-), Grant had the speaking part this episode: Hello Mum (Shot was look at Camera "Hello Mum" and a cheeky but menacing grin)

Dont know where his tan and daughter were but I'm sure that we will find out and hey it was dark.

Footy News: Well Palace won again 2-0 but some of the crowd were getting on the players backs even though we were winning and won. Got the mighty European Champs Liverpool tomorrow night, I wont be there though because I have a work thing and it is on Sky so will try and watch it in the pub with a beer. Come on you Eagles.

Baby News: 5 weeks and counting tomorrow, tried the car seat out on Sunday and a 3 door Pug 206 is not the best car !!! Managed to get it in etc. but want to have another go at the weekend to make sure it is OK. We dont really want to buy a bigger car until we move out of London but it all depends on how it goes.

Bloody Brighton

Went to the football last night, Palace played our biggest rivals last night, Brighton.

It's a strange one why we are such big rivals because Millwall are are closest team and Charlton tend to think that they should be our rivals but the only team that a Palace fan would love to beat would be Brighton. It goes back to the late 70's why we are such rivals and I wont go into here because it may not interest everyone. There was a bit of trouble at the game but nothing major. A Palace fan tried to get in the Brighton section and was stopped. I thought it would be great to let him go because I bet he wanted to be stopped. I can just imagine him running at the Brighton fans and the stewards and police just stand back saying "go on son, you must be a man now to try and take on 5,000 fans" I can imagine he would run straight back to where he started from.

I often wonder why so many teams dislike Palace because I always thought we were a good bunch but if you look around the following teams have pretty much no feeling of goodness towards Palace: Brighton, Millwall, Charlton, Gillingham, Wimbledon , Man United (Certain French bloke jumped into our stand and now they hate us) QPR and recently even Norwich fans have been on the Palace site giving it some. Strange because every time I go to an away game there is no trouble and more often then not other clubs say we have one of the best away following and loudest songs.

We lost last night in a very poor way, we were terrible and never looked like scoring (although we did have a goal ruled out for offside), not really a lot to say about that other then it also poured as I got home and the roads were flooding.

Today I have had to drive to Manchester for a meeting. I hate the roads, it took hours and hours of sitting in jams to get there and back. Saw a transit van that had left the road and embedded itself front on into a bridge, I hope the driver is OK and that was why the M6 northbound was closed. I was going southbound. Why is it though that people can not drive in the rain? it is almost as soon as the rain comes brain goes !

I saw some car with a baby on board sign weaving like an idiot through the traffic I just hope that the baby was not on board.

Last moan about cars.. Cars from Poland on the road, Where I live there are hundreds of them going round. I dont mind people from Poland being here and all that, this is not about that BUT it is about a car from Poland that is not taxed in this country, probably not insured, not with a UK MOT and also can go through London without paying the congestion charge or getting fined because they do not have a link to the Polish database (If it is still being driven by the registered owner) They can also beat the speed cameras until they get pulled over by the police. What would I do, good question, I guess maybe enforce somehow that if a car is staying for more then 6 months it has to have a UK MOT and pay a tax for using the roads.

Baby News: Been a little while since the last update. Well Faye is now 34 weeks and we only have about 6 weeks to go :-) The baby is kicking and punching a lot and it must be down to the fact that there is not a lot of room. We are quite ready now for the baby and only have a few things left to sort.

James

PowerBook Woe

In my post a couple of days ago I mentioned that I had got the new iMac because the PowerBook was starting to be get old. Well last night the screen broke ! it is as though it locked itself and when I closed the lid it snapped off ! it is still working though !! I now have no button 6, the CD drive is cracked, headphone input is split and now the screen has come apart. Still works well.

I have been emailed by TNT to call them about collection of the iMac so should be picked up early next week and hopefully will have the new new one in 2-3 weeks, it's still 10 days before shipping and mine will need to be checked before they send me the new one.

Here is a couple of shots of the powerbook with snapped hinges. I can not even move the broken bits.


It's as though it locked or even melted ! I am going to have a search through the Apple site this afternoon, What else. well I will listen to the Palace game on the radio and rebuild the iMac so all my data is removed and pack it up ready to go back.

James

New iMac MMMmmmm YES PLEASE

Have called apple and as luck would have it I can return my iMac for the latest and better one :-) Well chuffed. I have to send the old (I say old, not even two weeks !) one back and then wait for the new one so I think that it will take a while. It's not even in the country for for at least 10 days. I am now waiting for Apple to call me back with a date to collect it but I have the number. I am going to call again tomorrow just to confirm it all. It's 14 days tomorrow. I have also emailed and did it online as well !



I did get offfered a goodwill gesture of £50 but said no as I thought at the end of the day I might as well have the iSight built in and new mouse (approx. £150). They did say that I might have a problem because I had a wireless keyboard and mouse but it seems OK. Can you change the rules of return just because I wanted a better then standard one? Quite a result, because to be honest if I never got the wireless then I would of received iMac earlier and then would not be able to return it.

Thanks Apple and that's now 2 things this week that have been good including the stapler !

Keep your fingers crossed because I wont be happy until the mac goes back.

James

iMac it had to happen

No sooner do I buy the G5. It gets a face lift :-) I knew it would happen but I waited past the Paris Expo and nothing so went for it. I'm not even that bitter. If you read on the Apple sites and you would think that Apple had to tell the world 3 months ago that it was happening. Well people that is not the way it happens with Apple.

As it happens though I might be able to send it back for 60GBP because it was delivered 30th Sept and you get 14 days to return so that would mean Friday. I am going to call tomorrow and find out. Then I will buy/exchange for the new one

Fingers crossed for me !!!

PS iPod looks good and am I gutted about buying one a few months, nope, still does what I wanted it do at the time as does the iMac I bought so if I can not return it I wont be too upset.

What a nice man

Bloggers,

Went to a shop today. Its a local one in the town I work at called Rickmansworth. The shop is called Serves U Right and it's a kind of shop that sells everything. It is incredible. It sells anything from light bulbs and dimmer switches to Candles and matches. The last item I bought last week was a lampshade holder keeper upper thing, its like a rim that screws on to the rose. I mean what sort of shop would have that. As I said it is a real have everything shop and so I went in today to get a bag of little U shaped nails to hold up some fairy lights for the baby room.... I looked and I looked but could not found nowt, although I did find nails to fit all sizes and cable nail things (as you can tell I dont know the names and am not really a handyman kind of guy) I couldn't find the correct size so I asked at the counter and she sends me down to the secret magical part of the shop where the owner Stephen is in the middle of something in the staff only area. "Stephen" I hollow and out he comes to show me round his store trying to find a bag of small U shaped nails. Well he cant find them and has to order them in so it's going to take a couple of days. He asked what it was for and so I tell him and he calls me back to the staff area where his painter mate is (He looked like a painter anyway. Although he could just have bad dress sense and like paint style clothes) and asked him what he used because he has a little baby girl and has done the same thing i.e. used fairy lights in the room. Well it turns out he borrowed Stephens industrial stapler so he turns round says I look honest and gives me a stapler with a bag of staples and tells me to get it done tonight and bring back in tomorrow.

What a top bloke and a rare thing to happen !!!

Last week some guy reversed into my car door and rather then go through all the insurance and it being a smallish dent I let him off and now I feel that because I was nice it is starting to pay back.

Lost

It's not a bad program but I'm kind of getting a bit bored with it. It's just running so slow at the moment. Also I have to say that the adverts are always on. I guess that as four paid so much money for it and it is one of their top shows they can get more adverts for the money. It's also a USA show and prob uses the same advert pattern. Bit like 24, I bought the DVD set of the first series and it had bits cut out because the first UK DVD sets we got had the episodes shown in the USA. When it was shown here in the UK it was on BBC2 and therefore no adverts and could be a bit longer.

Anyway back to lost the main question I have to ask is..... How have they all kept their teeth so clean !

iMac and Windscreen

It's been a while but lets try and get back to this blogging stuff.

Whats gone on, well I have yet another windscreen in the car after a stone flew through the air and gawd knows hey managed to hit my car. Now you have to picture that the lorry was about 100 meters and some up the road and I had pulled out to the overtaking lane or middle cruising lane for the old and BMW drivers, no other cars out there and out of nowhere "CRACK" window needs replacing. The stone somehow has flown 100 meters and with the accuracy of a SAS sniper taken my window out.

Some good news - well the iMac G3 has gone to a good home and my PowerBook was dying so we have replaced it with the top of the range G5 iMac - WOW is all I can say and it has been taking some of my time up playing and setting it up. It's a beauty I tell thee. Have bought the EyeTV adapter to turn it into a TV as well. That part is not going great because I need to sort the aerial out. We dont have an outside link in the bedroom so have to get an internal one and the last one would get a different set of channels each time and I have yet to get ITV channels. It's to do with the MUX signal at Crystal Palace I have been told. I cant believe that Crystal Palace is to blame :-)

Now solved the TV problem getting a new aerial. Its a strange flat one from One for all but it is working a treat.

Music Copyright Question

I am thinking of doing a music "quiz" once a week. Am I right in thinking that as long as the snippet is under 30 seconds am I OK to use it?

Thanks.

Also I still need help looking for a camcorder. JVC GR-D270 is the I am looking at.

Here

Dirty Phone Calls

So I get a phone call from Mrs PF "so what you got on?" Well I thought it was the start of a dirty phone call but nope she meant what have I got to do at work. Oh well.

I have been up north and travelled from Sheffield to Manchester for a meeting this morning. It was quite a bit nicer then my drive up the M1 and across the M25 for my normal drive to work.

I even managed to get a couple of photos as I was driving. Not the safest thing to do but hey I had to show you all.


Will take some on Monday of my normal drive !

Baby news - We are getting there now and the baby is due in less then 10 weeks.

Footy News - Preston at home tomorrow so will be there.

Todays Fact - According to a recent survey, more than half of British adults have had sex in a public place!

On this day - I had sex in a public place :-) and in 2000: Redgrave wins fifth Olympic gold.

British rower Steve Redgrave has entered Olympic history by winning his fifth consecutive gold medal.

Redgrave won his gold alongside Matthew Pinsent, Tim Foster and James Cracknell in the coxless fours on day eight of the Olympic Games in Sydney, Australia.

The crowd of 22,000 dominated by British fans, let out a roar of triumph and relief after a thrilling and nail-biting race that saw the British crew win by less than half a second ahead of their closest rivals Italy at Penrith Lakes.

Joke of the day - What a wally !!! put it out man.

Camcorder advice wanted:

I'm after a camcorder so that I can get some film of Chosen One growing up.

I only really want to spend a max of £300 GB pounds (If the pound sign has not come out) a) running out of money and b) never used one before

Prob could do with DV in and out I guess so that I can edit on the camera.

Think it will go nice with the new iMac :-), I still have my powerbook though so I can start to play and edit asap.

Thanks bloggers,

Where does time go?

This baby stuff really starts to eat into your time, you have so much to do and prepare that most of your time is taken up with that.

We managed to get out yesterday and had a nice lunch in Camden with our friends. Went to a great thai by the Market at the North End of Town. Been a while since we had a stroll round the market and being so close we should really try a bit more BUT dont think we will take the baby round there. Just not enough room to get around.

It does seem to be losing it's charm and all the stalls are becoming a bit commericial , you can still get the "strange" but mostly it seems the "norm". I took the camera but only took 2 shots. 1 of my foot very boring and 1 of people getting off the bus that I used a serpia setting. Did it so I can compare it to Photoshop's conversion.

Off again tonight to Anti natal. We were discussing on the way home from the market about wetting Chosen Ones head, well I was and I was saying it would be great to go out and see some bands with my mates. Mrs PF thinks it is really nice of me to think of mates after she has done all that work. All heart me.

Tomorrow is the Mac Expo in Paris and I hope that a new iMac G5 is coming out so I can buy it :-), if not I will have to wait for Brent Cross to open. Went there Saturday and still no signs that it is even going to be there.

Baby news - Today is my compressed day off so I have put up a black out blind today in the nursery. Tommorow is 30 weeks so have 10 weeks to go, really feels like it is happening now and we can start the 10,9,8,7... countdown :-)

Footy News - Lucky we have bought forwards because we have none left. Still wish that we could call Sandor Torghelle from Greece. Got Coventry tomorrow in the League cup, again I wont be going :-0

Todays Fact - 70% of the land in Britain is owned by 1% population

Shocking but true

On this day - 19th September 1985: Mexico suffers devastating earthquake
A massive earthquake has hit Mexico not far from its capital, Mexico City, causing untold casualties and widespread damage.

Officials say at least 170 people have been killed and thousands injured, but it is feared the death toll may rise into the thousands.

The quake hit the west coast near the resort town of Acapulco early this morning, and was measured by the US Geological Survey at a magnitude of 7.8.

It lasted for 50 seconds, and devastated three states on the Pacific coast.

"A part of a mountain just slid away, falling on the peasants who were just getting up to go to work," said Lieutenant Manuel Sanchez, from the fire department's headquarters in the state of Jalisco.

More info on BBC website Here

Joke of the day Thanks to Mrs PF for this one:

3 tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic.
Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches.
The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.
Mick unpacks the food and the beer.
"ok Roy, give me the bottle opener" he says.
"I didn't bring it" says Roy, "I thought you did."
Mick gets worried; he turns to Andy and says, "Did you bring the bottle opener?" Naturally, Andy didn't bring it, so they're stuck 10 miles from home without a bottle opener.
Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it. But he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches and leave none for him.
After two hours of bickering, and them promising on their lives that they will not eat the sarnies, Roy agrees to go back.
So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. Twenty days pass and still he isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving, but they remember their promise and stay away from the sandwiches.
Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally, they can't take it any longer,.so they take out a sandwhich each, and just as they are about to eat them, Roy pops out from behind a rock and shouts, " I knew it...I'm not f***ing going now, you b8stards!"

Katrina Photos - Real or Not?

Today I recd these photo's my mate is not sure that they are real (it was Nascot Dan, link on side)

Me, I'n not sure but what do you think?

A picture blog

A picture blog

I dont know why my format is so all over the place so sorry about that.

Baby news - Here is a a picture of our cot, We have not finished the room so decor is not correct.



Footy News - Come on Palace, Won 2-0 against Hull. See the report Here.

Nice to see Morrison get a goal but it was after a great run from Tom Soares.

This is the view from my seat:

The Hull fans:

AJ after scoring (Patting Andews on the back): Not very clear

Final Whistle:

Todays Fact - It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up.

On this day - 10th Sep 1547
Defeat for the Scots by the English at the Battle of Pinkie Cleugh, Edinburgh

Joke of the day How to spot a millionaire:

Pug Jumping

I want to say sorry to all the people that were parked on the side of the road as I went past them only to release it was a traffic jam and I had jumped most of the queue :-0 Not my fault honest. It was a transit that had the blanked out windows so I just presummed no one was in it but I guess there most of been. So if you were in one of the industrial parks near Watford and a 206 went past. SORRY.

I will have a good apple blog soon but in the meantime the Nano looks good, I have the iPod photo one and mine seems loads better for cost value etc.. Cant wait to see it in the flesh though. I can not believe that they dropped the Mini range. Still waiting for the Brent Cross shop to open and I will be buying my new computer. They normally have an opening special.

Baby news - Well only 1 man never turned up at the anti natal class last night, His wife said he was working late but then when I mentioned about the football being on TV her face kind of twisted.

Last night I learnt that women in the 70's were shaved with a blunt razor and then had a pipe and warm water squirted up their arse before giving birth. It was all part of the way it was.... scary hey.

I also learnt that Mrs PF will have a show that I dont really want to go to before going into labour.

Footy News - Oh dear.....

Todays Fact - You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

On this day - 8/9/1968
British tennis player Virginia Wade beats American Billie Jean King to win the US Open

Joke of the day

Only some baby news really

Baby news - Well we have received our cot\bed, wardrobe, drawers. We have managed to set it all up apart from the wardrobe because we have to return part of that due to a corner being slightly damaged. Do you realise that the baby furniture cost more then our room (we do have built in wardrobes but still a more then our bed etc.)

We have chosen and received our travel system. We have gone for a Chicco CT0.1 trio auto-fix system and we even got a couple of bits free like a lightweight stroller and a high chair (Chosen one has to be 6 months old before using it though). It seems really really good and all just clicks on top of the frames. It also has a carry cot that we can use for chosen one to start off in so saves us getting a moses basket

We have also gone to our first Anti Natal class. 2 hours long :-0 We have another one on Wednesday. Yep as the footy kicks off I will be learning to relax and breathe....

Footy News - Well what is Sven going to do then tomorrow, I bet Owen plays and the guy has not played a competive game since the end of last season. Play Johnson I say, but then I would wouldn't I.

Todays Fact - Because metal was scarce; the Oscars given out during World War II were made of plaster.

On this day - 6th September 1997
Millions of people around the world watch live television pictures from London of the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales who had died in a car crash in Paris a week earlier. Britain comes to a virtual standstill for the whole day with an estimated two million mourners either outside Westminster Abbey or lining the route and a further 32 million watching the funeral on television.The worldwide TV audience is estimated at two billion

Cant say I did.

Joke of the day Thanks to a girl at work for this one. She does not read this blog though:

A brain and a pair of jump leads walk into a bar. The jump leads take a seat
and the brain gets the round in, but the bartender refuses to serve the
brain.

"How come?" says the brain.


"Well," replies the bartender, "you're out of your head and your mate looks
like he's gonna start something."

It Walks, it is alive

Yipee, I'm out of bed. Still a bit sore BUT it walks. I have managed to get downstairs and have even managed to sit rather then lie. I'm off tomorrow anyway on a compressed day so will be resting yet again.

Hey, I found my friend today on the blogger circuit. I will add a link but have look a Here, cant believe he never mentioned it to me but i think he was seeing how he got on first. Oh and yes he has a bad back as well. Strange...

Baby news - We have a midwife appointment tomorrow morning and we have our nursery furniture coming tomorrow afternoon. If it's no lifting then I will try and set it up.

Footy News - OK well we signed no one.

Todays Fact - Babies start dreaming even before they're born.

On this day - 1st September 1879 In southern Africa, Britain signs a peace treaty with Zulu chiefs.

Watched Zulu the film again a couple of weeks and never rembered it being so long and drawn out.

Joke of the day So who has noticed we have not had one? I'm going to post them again soon.

Heres one though: How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.

Doctors

Quite an eventful day today, I mean un-eventful. First of all it took 2 hours to get through to the doctors only to be told that I had to ring back at 2pm. I had to "shuffle" up the road to get some painkillers so I am went in and saw the receptionist only to shuffle back out to ring at 2pm. Decided then and there that if I never got an appointment this afternoon I would of gone into that surgery and lied on the floor, I would of been lying down and singing. I will not, I will not be moved. I will not, I CANT be moved.

Anyway I managed to get an appointment and have been told to lie down for at least 3 days, take tablets (at a cost of £6.50 per box) and do not a lot. It's not too bad but I feel useless. I am not ill, feel alright but am not comfortable and in quite a bit of pain. I have been logging into work and doing some stuff so at least it's not too boring. I am one of those strange people that really likes work so would rather be there and not here in bed.

Did manage to get a bit of time to "tidy" up the blog. Think it looks a lot cleaner now.

Baby news - Now in week 27 and Mrs PF has had some Braxton Hicks contractions.

Footy News - Looks like, if the rumour is to be believed, that Bentley from Arsenal is signing tomorrow for us. Along with Jamal Campbell Ryce from Rotherham. Tomorrow is the last day before transfer deadline.

Mr Owen is going to be a geordie hero. Think he is better off going there then Liverpool as the fans will love him plus from a selfish point of view how good to see the England partnership I have wanted to see for years !

Just looked on the FA site and they have that Owen is already playing for Newcastle. Click Here

Todays Fact - There is no tipping at restaurants in Japan

Somewhere I have not been so if you can validate this one that would be great. It's so expensive that you prob can not afford to.

Also has anyone seen a book called Fruits, it has lots of pictures of these people all dressed up in Tokyo. A really good book, we got it from Amazon but managed to see a art thing in New Zealand on it so I wrote all the details down so we could order it when we were back.

On this day - 30th August 30 B.C: Cleopatra commits suicide

Cleopatra, queen of Egypt, takes her life following the defeat of her forces against Octavian, the future first emperor of Rome. The daughter of King Ptolemy XII, Cleopatra became the lover of Julius Caesar, who helped her seize the Egyptian throne from her brother in 47 B.C. After Caesar's assassination, Mark Antony, another powerful Roman, fell in love with her, and in 36 B.C. they were married. Four years later, Octavian, the designated heir of Caesar, declared war against Antony and Cleopatra. In 31 B.C., they were defeated at the Battle of Actium and fled to Alexandria. Soon after, Mark Antony committed suicide after hearing a false report of Cleopatra's death. Rather than fall into Octavian's hands, Cleopatra likewise ended her life.

Greetings from a very sunny North London I am meant to be outside at a local park flying my kite and having a laugh with some friends. Im not though I am lying in my bed looking out of the window at the sun. Gutted.

Yesterday my back went and I am in agony. I can not move from my bed because when I stand it puts so much pain on my back that I huddle over and fall on the floor crawling to get to the loo. Quite a site to see I would think. I dont know what caused it to go although I have been suffering for a couple of weeks with the back.

I have never had a problem with my back and just hope it clears up. Mrs PF has said that if it was not for the pain it would be my ideal day as I am lying in bed typing on the powerbook, browsing, learning how to use photoshop, got the web radio going with some football on (Five Live) to be honest it's not too bad apart from the pain. Got lunch and a coffee being brought up in a minute :-)

Baby news - Went to Mums on Saturday and both her and my sister got us lots of stuff for the baby so cant wait to get the baby furniture on Friday and start to set everything up. Back permitting !!

Footy News - AJ for England. Shouldnt really of gone to the match on Saturday because we were out to my Mums for a meal and had to leave earlier to drive BUT I had to go as it was Clintons home coming. Palace won 2-0 and we did deserve it but we never played well. I left early so I could get the fast train back to London Bridge. But I did manage to see the last goal. Andrew Johnson really is a class above everyone else. Our young left back Borrowdale is having bit of a nightmare at the moment but until Granville is back we have to stick with him. Clinton did well when he came on but I thought that Macken had a great game.

England squad was named and AJ is in again. David James has been "dropped" and I think it is for the best. He seems to have a problem when playing for England that when he pulls on the shirt he goes blind. It's in Man City's favour because I do believe that he is a good keeper when he plays for his club.

Todays Fact - Avocados are poisonous to birds.

I'm going to have one with my lunch BUT do I test the the fact on the pigeons?

On this day - 29th Aug 1835
Founding of the Australian city of Melbourne

Im a movie, Im a movie what movie am I?

Not a lot to blog about other then looking forward to the bank holiday.

Here is some movie reviews of films that we have recently watched. I'm going to keep them short:

6 word film reviews

The Island - Logans Run meets the truman show
Skeleton Key - Voodoo Magic with great end twist
Dukes Of hazzards - crap film crap car crap stars

Baby news - Went to my mates at lunchtime and saw his little girl and also his slighter older son. Good lungs on her.

Footy News - Watching Liverpool on TV tonight but looking forward to Clinton Morrison playing tomorrow for the Eagles

Todays Fact - To take an oath, ancient Romans put a hand on their testicles…that’s where the word “testimony” comes from

On this day - 26th Aug 1959
British car manufacturers Austin and Morris launch a small family car known as the 'Mini'.

Went out in a new one today and was very good fun !

Foo-king Brilliant

What a great concert. Last Time I saw the Foo Fighters was at Wembley arena a couple of years ago and they went to the top of my must see bands but yesterday was great as the venue was so small. There is a great reveiw on the concert by NME Here I can not say anymore.



I must be getting old though because I was in the mush pit for about 30 minutes but had to leave and stand at the back due to my back hurting !!!

Best concert though this year for me was Feeder. Best concert ever would be AC/DC in 2000 at Wembley Arena. Hope they tour soon and I have heard that a new album is out this year so could mean a tour

Baby news - The baby is now moving higher i.e it is above the navel. Still kicking all the time. Tomorrow I am off to lunch at mates house to meet his new daughter.

Footy News - He has returned. Morrison is back at the Palace. Have to say that I am really chuffed about it. Think AJ and Morrison will be great together. Also think it is great when you think that we AJ and 2 million plus Morrison back after 2 years from Birmingham. Thanks Big Nose Bruce ha ha

Todays Fact - According to studies, men change their minds two to three times more often than women.

No I dont, Yes I do, nah I dont, maybe I do

On this day - Aug 25th 1985
American singer Michael Jackson pays $25 million for the rights to a catalogue of music which includes copyright of more than 5,000 songs, including many by the British group, The Beatles.

Todays Joke -

Acid T-Shirt

Well today during a meeting I discovered the other T-Shirt that was in the bag that got acid on it ! I looked down and I was suddenly was looking down at a crop T-Shirt :-0 I dont understand why it only seems to react when I wear the top. It has been washed but survived that only to fall apart when worn by me ! It's really weird ! Had to hide behind a Black and Red notebook during the meeting and run down the road for another new top !

Tomorrow night I am at the Foo Fighters concert, come on ! I'm well looking forward to it because I can not make the Foo's concert in December. Might be a bit busy with nappies in December :-)

Baby news - Today we have ordered the cot \ bed, Wardrobe and a dresser. Chosen One is now due in less then 100 days.

Footy News - Beat Walsall 3-0 tonight and it looks like we should sign an old boy tomorrow morning. Clinton Morrison looks as though he is coming home. Now am I a bad fan because I could not be arsed going tonight. Well lets just say it will cost me 15 pound to get in plus travel and I get home about midnight to watch a weakened Palace team? I love Palace have a season ticket and get quite a few away games during the season but still some people will think that I am not a real fan because I never went on a Tuesday night. Oh well can not please everyone

Todays Fact - In 1897, Bayer, who is the maker of Aspirin, marketed the drug heroin.

On this day - Aug 23rd 1962
John Lennon, founder-member of The Beatles, marries his childhood sweetheart Cynthia Powell.
1963 The Beatles release 'She Loves You'.


Todays Joke

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and thean pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed.

He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person.

He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need...! a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44
long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit.. it fitted perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a newshirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34.
A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine
and give you one hell of a headache."

Summary:

New suit - £400
New shirt - £36
New underwear - £6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS!!!

Acid Jumper

Well I have not seen the spider so, with a sigh of relief, it meant that I never had to try and catch it and let it outside.

Had a weird one yesterday at the football. As I was sitting down before the game I happen to look down and see a small hole in my fav jumper (Only worn it once before at the Norwich game and we never lost so wore it again) I touched the hole to examine it and it disintegrated ! It started getting bigger and in the end I had to borrow Dads jacket to go to town in because I was meeting up with friends. Anyway I speak to Mrs PF and start going on about how mad it was after the match and she's like "thats really strange because my backpack went like that last week. MMMMmmmmm and your new jumper was in there." Right O what batteries have leaked in your bag? Must of, Then I remember I have a car battery in the boot of the motor so Mrs PF walks out and checks the car and whoops it's leaking ! It's managed to attack some of the other stuff in the car so she got her Dad to get rid of the battery. I was meant to take it back to get a refund so have lost out on that. Took all the carpet out of the boot when Mrs PF got home and have rinsed it all out. I managed to buy a new jumper and did get a strange look when I said that I want them to take all the tags off and I wanted to put it straight on. I would of thought that it was quite common.

Quite expensive though as it cost 60 for the battery, 60 for the old jumper, 35 for new and 30 for the new backpack.

Did the iMac. How nice do they still look. If your interested it's 100 pound. Drop me an email for more info but in a nutshell it's a G3 400 DV OSX 10.3.9 and I will throw in a CD writer.

Would prefer collection from North London but you can pay postage



Baby news - Chosen One is really kicking a lot now and you can see the belly move and everything.

Footy News - Never took a camera but we won 1-0 with Darren Ward getting his first goal for Palace. Ref was awful again.

Todays Fact - More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money printed throughout the world.

On this day - Aug 21st 1959
Hawaii becomes the 50th state of the USA

Nice place, we were there this time last year at the end of our year out. Here is Mrs PF with the statue of Duke Kahanamoku.

Good cause

I have been keeping a close eye on a blogger called Tartan Red on Tour, His link is on the side but here it is again
We have had a few email "chats" and he is a great bloke that is helping raise money for a disability that he has. It is called AtaxiaHe is welsh but dont let that stop you from clicking and having a look at his blog :-)

He currently has 2 signed footballs on eBay and I hope that you will pass the details on to any football fans but particularly Dundee United or St Johnstone fans to click HERE
I would also recommend signing up to his tour and giving some money to a great cause.

Spiderman or should that be Woman?

I was out last night at a work thing as we have re-branded ourselves BUT as I dont talk about work you will have to guess who I work for.. Anyway Mrs PF saw a monster last night and took a photo of it, no not me rolling in drunk but this...



Jeezz it's scary as, I hope that it does not come out tonight as I am home alone. Mrs PF has taken the long drive up to her parents. Got a text saying that she has gone to a car boot, yep on a Friday night she has gone to car boot !! Down in London we go out to live music and over in Shropshire she goes to a car boot :-)

This is a measure of how big and horrible the spider was (not the best photo though)...



I personally am knackered as I have spent the day sorting out the attic as a spare room so we can sort out our real spare room as nursery. Quite proud of myself as I have changed the light, light switch and 2 power sockets plus managed to get the futon up the stairs, well the stairs are more of a ladder. Now sitting waiting my old iMac to format the hard drive before I sell it. So far it has been going for 5 hours ! I am zero(ing) it and writting data across a few times so nobody will be able to get anything from it unless they work for some top spy place. Maybe I am paranoid but dont anyone tell me. Am sure you will see an advert here soon.

Baby news - As mentioned we have almost sorted out the attic for guests so will be making a real start on Chosen Ones room

Footy News - Plymouth at home tomorrow so may take the camera and give you a photo from my seat

Todays Fact - Butterflies taste with their feet.

Unless they are making love.. Photo by Mrs PF last year while travelling in Chaing Mai, Thailand.





On this day - Aug 19th 1953
The England cricket team, under captain Len Hutton, wins The Ashes against Australia for the first time since the controversial 'bodyline' tour of 1932-1933.

Todays Joke - An old one.
Dont forget to check out OJ Simpsons site, at WWW.slash-slash-backslash-escape

Catch the pigeon

I got a tube the other day to work and when I got on at Finchley Road a pigeon got off !! I swear to you, I stepped on the tube and it flew out. No ticket or anything :-0 Guy sitting on the tube said it had been on there since Farringdon and was just walking around the carrage. I'm going to have to start to carry a camera around with me as I do see some strange things around. If I never had a work mobile I would get a camera phone as the quality of those shots will be fine for blogging. Maybe I should look at a cheap 2nd hand one.

Joanna - I have ordered a book on photoshop, The Photoshop CS2 Book for Digital Photographers Scott Kelby - Thanks for the advise

Baby news - Not our Baby news but a very strange man that is running aroung up North in Teeside in his nappy asking women for baby changing areas. Click Here for more info !

Footy News - Finally the transfer that has taken all pre season is about to be completed.
Lyon have announced that they have agreed a £26m fee with Chelsea for Ghana midfielder Michael Essien BBC Details

Todays Fact - Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Not in the cartoons when a mouse comes though.

On this day - Aug 15th 1998
A terrorist bomb explodes in the centre of Omagh, County Tyrone killing 28 and injuring more than 200 others. It's the biggest single incident death toll in recent Northern Ireland history. A splinter group of the IRA, calling itself the Real IRA, claims responsibility.

Todays Joke - Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ‘Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?’

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ‘God Almighty!’ shouted Mary and the teacher said, ‘Very good,’ and Mary fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ‘Who is our Lord and Savior?’ But, Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ‘Jesus Christ!’ shouted Mary and the teacher said, ‘Very good,’ and Mary fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. ‘What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?’ And again, Johnny Jabbed her with the pin.

This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ‘If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!’

The Teacher fainted.

Norwich Away

Took Mrs PF to Norwich on Saturday morning for the football and we stayed over. Norwich is a great town and will go there again if play them. Shame the weather was not great. We really had 4 seasons in a day. Sunny, Pouring, Cloudy and the windy.



Went to a rather good seafood restaurant called Loch Fyne was really really nice. Recommended.

Left this morning after a good breakfast. Mrs PF got a good deal on the hotel, over the internet it was £122 and when she called direct, it was £85 so result

Does this sound weird or does anyone else do this: When I turn the radio up or down I have to leave it on a even number ! Nope, thought it was just me :-) I also do it with the stereo and TV, Anything that has a digital showing of the volume level.

Baby news - Chosen One was very active at the football and also when we were out Thursday night it was kicking when the music was going.

Bought a few more "toys" for our jungle theme nursery. Also got some clothes, Thats it now though until we know if it's a boy or a girl.

Still need to get cot/bed and furniture sorted, need to get a travel system as well.

Footy News - Well we finally got a point and as Yazz would say "the only way is up"

AJ has had to pull out of the England squad because of an injury.

Todays Fact - A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

On this day - Aug 14th 1945: World War II ends.

Japan agrees to surrender to the Allies. The decision, which brought an end to the most costly war in human history, came after a momentous week that saw two U.S. atomic bombs dropped on Japan and a declaration of war by the Soviets. In the evening, 1,000 Japanese army officers attacked the imperial palace with the intention of seizing a recorded message of Emperor Hirohito announcing the surrender; the imperial guards repulsed them. The next day, Hirohito's speech, which asked his people to endure the unendurable, was played on national radio, and hundreds of millions of people around the world celebrated V-J Day. Victory over Japan.

Todays Joke - Thanks to Jane again over at Slothblog

1st day
On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and
shouted into the phone: "Get me a F***ING cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialed The wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No," replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are F***ING talking
to, you F***ING idiot?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director indignantly

"Thank F**K for that!" replied the trainee and slammed down the phone

I'm still here

Just thought I best post to say that I am doing well unlike the Palace !

Well went on Saturday to the game and O Dear what a load of rubbish. There was me meeting a Luton fan from work for pre game beers and after game laughs at him BUT Luton decieded that they should spoil my day ! Well after losing it put me in bit of a downer so instead of going off to a BBQ Party I went to sit, drink and slouch on the couch.

Lost again tonight to Wolves although I never went. Went to smack some golf balls and get some anger out. Been having a bit of a stressful time at work but think I am over the worse of it now.

I started about 2 weeks going to a golf driving range and I enjoy it so I'm going to get a couple of lessons and try on a proper course. Only been twice but was managing to hit most of the balls in a straight line off the mat. Think it is going to be another thing to consume my time. Dont have enough hours now let alone playing golf as well but think it will get me out and walking.

Mrs PF started decorating the attic on the Saturday and it is starting to look like a bedroom rather then a dumping ground for all our books and stuff. Once we have finished it then we can move all the stuff from the spare room to up there and start to make a nursery :-0. I did help on the Sunday.

We also had a look up in the retail parks at Enfield for furniture for the Chosen Ones room but could not see anything we liked. Had the old dont make contact with the salesmans eyes....NO Dont look at him Mrs PF, too late, and then we have to explain that we are just looking and yes..Keith, right, OK, we promise we will come back to you if we see anything. We then take a couple more steps and go through the whole thing again.

What else has happened in the last week. Well I went off to a work pub quiz on Thursday and came last ! Dont know how it happened because our team was sitting with the team that came first ! It was then sent out on an email to all our department that we came last.

Tried to win a guitar on ebay but lost and now keeping thinking that I should of gone higher. Thats the problem though with ebay you just want to win but i was good and set my limit and said no more. Then I sit here 2 days later wishing that I added some more ! So Im still looking for the Fender Jaguar.

"Normal" layout should resume soon but in the meantime heres a quick joke from my Dad.
A bloke is in a queue at the Super Market when he notices that the
rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello
to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him and
although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he
says "sorry do you know me?"

She replies "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of
one of my children"!

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful to
his wife - "Christ"! he says "are you that cracking strip-o-gram on my
stag night that I sha**ed on the snooker table in front of all my mates
whilst your colleague whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a
cucumber up my ar*e?"

No she replies, I'm your son's English Teacher!

The man from Palace he says...............

do do do do.....Andy Johnson ..HE'S STAYING

Bet there is a load of clauses but ho hum he will be given a heros welcome on Saturday.

Looking at the BBS site you would of thought that they would never of survived if he had been off. I think great he is staying but Palace would of kept going if he had been off.

Here is to Saturday and to our man AJ.

Baby news - Mrs PF went to the doctors today and everything is good. The chosen ones heart beat is really strong and Mrs PF is right as rain as well.

Oh and Dan S at work had a little girl last night called Lucy weighing in at 8 pound 10 ounces so his wife never had to be induced.

Footy News - See main !

Todays Fact - By feeding hens certain dyes they can be made to lay eggs with multi-colored yolks.

Never seen them myself but would be cool.

On this day - 2nd August 1934: Hitler becomes Führer

Chancellor Adolf Hitler becomes sole leader of Germany upon the death of President Paul von Hindenburg. The German army swore allegiance to the Führer, who planned the rearmament of Germany and vast territorial expansion. In little more than a decade, the National Socialist (Nazi) Party had risen from a radical splinter group to Germany's ruling party, allowing Hitler to seize powers previously divided among president, chancellor, and the Reichstag. With Hindenburg's death, the last remnants of Germany's democratic government were dismantled, leaving Hitler--a megalomaniac intent on war and genocide--in command of the nation.

Todays Joke - Thanks to Dan M at work for this one who in turn stole it from a man called Chris B.

A lady walks into a BMW dealership and browses around. Suddenly she spots
the most perfect, beautiful car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends
forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart
escapes her. Very embarrassed, she anxiously looks around to see if anyone
has noticed and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns
back, there standing next to her is a salesman. With a pleasant smile he
greets her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today? "
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing
had happened, she smiles back and asks, "Sir, what is the price of this
lovely vehicle? " Still smiling pleasantly, he replies, "Madame, I'm very
sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you are going to sh*t
yourself when you hear the price."

Spot the Spot

OK so what have I done to deserve the biggest spot I have ever seen suddenly decide to introduce itself to the world using my nose as it's platform?

I dont get spots ! I was really lucky when I was growing up and never suffered. Had enough with my eczema to worry about. Thats another story though.

Even Mrs PF who is scared to take the mickey out of spots, we both believe that once you take the piss out of someone else it will happen to you, has said that it is rather large :-(

I'm 33 not 13, I should be worried about the grey hair starting to show on the side of the head, the hair sprouting from my ears, The hair getting a lot thinner, anything but a spot.

Do you know what the worse thing is? It hurts ! I cant stop touching it and everytime I do I can feel the tears wanting to come out ! It throbs ! it's not right I tell yer, It is throbbing. I can actually feel the blood being pumped around the spot and it throbs !!! I am worried that tomorrow in meetings people will be talking to the 2nd head and not looking at me. Maybe I should get some sunglasses for it and introduce it as my siamese twin.

I have to admit that I gave the beast a squeeze earlier and it has not made a difference. It's still there gloading me and looking all shiny. If anything it has made it more painfull.

I just hope that the local kids were looking for a dog called spot and not trying to wind me up.

Better be gone soon. I have a mirror to clean now so I bid you a good night.

Baby news - Still no sign of the friends from work baby yet. It is getting induced on Wednesday.

Mrs PF has been been buying some cool clothes for chosen one. We are also about to start getting stuff for the nursery. Going for a jungle theme.

Footy News - "AJ is bound to go now because I have posted his image up"
Will the last post come back to haunt me. Palace have a press announcement at 09.00

The gossip is that Sven has said that it wont matter that he is playing for Palace in the fizzy league and he is going to withdraw his transfer request.

I can see it going the other way though and he is saying goodbye and that he has to leave. Hope not and not long to find out ! All I want is it sorted and will be tomorrow

Todays Fact - Women end up digesting most of the lipstick they apply.

On this day - 1st Aug 1914 The Great War erupts

World War I begins with Germany's invasion of Luxembourg. The same day, Germany and Russia declare war against each other, and France mobilizes. At the end of July, Europe's tenuous peace collapsed when Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia. By August 5, Russia, France, Belgium, Great Britain, and Serbia had all lined up against Austria-Hungary and Germany. One month later, the bloody Battle of the Marne was fought outside Paris, halting Germany's advance to the sea and effectively deciding the future course of the war. World War I would be a terrible war of attrition, won by whichever side was willing to commit the greater number of men and resources to the lethal trenches.

Todays Joke - The Bartender

A man walks into a bar one night, goes up to the bar, and asks for a beer.

“Certainly, sir, that’ll be one cent.”

“One penny?!” exclaimed the guy.

“That’s right.” The barman replied.

So the guy glanced over at the menu, and asked, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?”

“Certainly sir,” replied the bartender, “but all that comes to real money.”

“How much money?”

“Four cents,” the barman said.

“Four cents?! Where’s the guy who owns this place?”

The barman replied, “Upstairs with my wife.”

“What’s he doing with your wife?”

The bartender smiled. “Same as what I’m doing to his business.”

Another new format

Changed the background colours and added an image that I created in photoshop earlier. Not the easiest program to use in my eyes. Anyone got a tip for a book to help me? I love taking photos so wouldnt mind getting into photoshop.

Went to a stag doo on Wednesday night, very strange night to pick but had a good one. Went to St Albans. Should of been at Palace V Inter Milan but I cant be everywhere.

Baby news - About 4 months to go and we can not wait. My mate (at work) wife is now a week overdue so should have some news of a birth soon. We have about 3 dads to be in the next 3 weeks at work.

Footy News - Off to Palace tomorrow for a friendly against West Ham. Meeting some mates (WH fans) for a beer before the game as well. Going to try and sit in the main stand for a change.

AJ is bound to go now because I have posted his image up. Spurs and Everton are after him if you believe the newspapers. Would rather he went to Everton then anywhere else.

Todays Fact - A spider's silk is stronger than steel.

On this day - 29th July 1588: Spanish Armada defeated

Off the coast of France, an English naval force defeats Spain's so-called Invincible Armada. After hours of furious fighting, the remnants of the massive Spanish fleet broke off and headed north on a long and difficult journey home. Two months earlier, King Philip II had launched the Armada, consisting of 130 ships and 30,000 men, to conquer England. However, Queen Elizabeth and her naval advisers prepared a brilliant defense, employing their superior guns and ships loaded with explosives to decimate the Spanish fleet. After retreating north, the Spaniards sailed around Scotland and Ireland, where the fleet was battered by storms. By the time they returned home in October, more than half the ships had been lost.


Todays Joke -

Can I interest you in.......

So Mr Palace Fan have you ever been called by these phone people.... Well of course I bloody have, every night at the moment !

"Hello sir have you got a mobile"

Well this is the year 2005 and just about every adult in the UK does have one, as does just about every kid over 10 so yep I do. Really you can make my payments cheaper and give me free calls each month, well I have a work mobile and I dont pay for any calls or monthly fees so I guess I win that. Yep goodbye.

"Hello sir do you have a BT phone"

MMMmmmm how do I answer this one? Well I have started saying no and they cant help so we mutually hang up. So thats a good tip.

Sometimes though I cant even understand what they are saying before I realise what is going on I'm not against Indians but can't believe that we are outsourcing marketing and cold calling to India. Well I guess I can....money

So how do we deal with them then. Well first off all register HERE , The Telephone Preference Service (TPS) is a central opt out register whereby individuals can register their wish not to receive unsolicited sales and marketing telephone calls. It is a legal requirement that companies do not make such calls to numbers registered on the TPS.

The original legislation was introduced in May 1999. It has subsequently been updated and now the relevant legislation is the Privacy and Electronic (EC Directive) Regulations 2003.

BT will register you with the above service and give you caller display for free please see HERE

If it takes longer then half a second for an answer HANG UP the calls being routed from abroad.

NEVER say your on BT and dont be too rude as most of the time they are only doing it coz they need money not to annoy you.

OH and if a robot rings you to tell you that you have won a prize before getting excited and looking for a pen say to yourself I have not won and HANG UP

Baby news - Chosen one has been Kicking Mrs PF a bit less today and she says she feels like a barrel. Most days she is mostly getting a seat but some days not.

Footy News - Well it looks like my Dad and brother are going to watch the Inter Milan reserves on Wednesday. Shame all the best players stayed at home.

Todays Fact - Many people in parts of China eat insects. Some common insects are bean worms, scoprions, and locusts.

Mrs PF and I ate Cockroaches, Locusts, Frogs plus a few other things in Bangkok all deep fried in spices and they were rather nice.

On this day - 25th July 1603
James VI of Scotland is crowned James I of England.

Todays Joke - Don't knock on Death's door.

Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...

Nutters on 2 wheels

Been watching the Moto GP from Donnington today Rossi is an amazing rider, I used to watch it in my youth because my Dad is a big bike fan. I'm old enough to remember Barry Sheen and funny enough I watching today when Kenny Roberts got mentioned and I thought to myself "He cant still be racing" well nope it's Kenny Jr !!

The weather was pouring and the bikes were skidding out from them they really are great handlers of a bike.

Rossi just won, He is now 104 points ahead !!!

Baby news - Baby is moving quite a bit now and I felt my first movement yesterday :-) very happy about that.

Footy News - Palace had a 1-1 draw, Inter pulled out of the tour and have now agreed to come to London, we will wait to see. I can not go because I have a stag doo. Yep a stag doo on a Wednesday, very strange day to pick

Todays Fact - SONY was originally called 'Totsuken'.

On this day - 24th July 1936
In Britain, the GPO (General Post Office) introduces TIM - the automated speaking clock using the voice of Miss Ethel Cain - a telephonist at the GPO's Victoria telephone exchange in London.

Todays Joke - Thanks to Jane from Slothblog, 1 of my fav blogs.

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, she is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there "Hind Lick Maneuver." But I ain't never seed nobody do it!"

Terrorists - Whats new

Since the formation of the Metropolitan Police, (29 September 1829) many tragic events have taken place. Here is a run down of terrorist acts that occurred within the Metropolitan Police Districts.

It starts in 1867 with the fenians, then Hitler, IRA, some other less known wanabees and finally our new group the Secret Group of al Qaeda's Jihad in Europe.

There has been around 30 or so bombs going off in London since it started and not thats including the Blitz. 100's have been killed in terrorists bombs (Over 40,000 were killed in the 2nd World War) in London but we keep going. Where I live in North London during the 90's Bombs went off at Wood Green, Hampstead, Camden even in 2001 Hendon Post office was bombed twice.

Its not nice knowing that it is happening and will continue to happen. In the future I have to start thinking about moving because I will need a bigger house and can not afford to stay in London (At least in the areas I like :-0) and it's not because of bombs BUT not having the worry that something may happen to my wife and unborn child will be a relief.

I see that they have shot a suspect this morning, shame he could not be taken alive and made to talk about who's and why's. Seems strange why they shot him 5 times when they were on top of him. Guessing he must of been carrying explosives. Might be more news on this from www.bbc.co.uk after this post goes out.

QUICK EDIT - A blog I read, Another Constable, has images of the suspects, Link is on the left hand side

Quick scroll down to the joke for a laugh, all too serious here !!

Baby news - Chosen one is a wriggling but I still aint a feeling

Footy News - Palace started their pre seson tour with a loss in Germany to Czech Republic side FK Teplice with both sides reduced to ten men. We lost 2-1 and the goal was scored by AJ - shock horror a penalty :-)

Play again tomorrow

Todays Fact - The first toilet being flushed in a motion picture was in the movie Psycho.

On this day - 1298
Battle of Falkirk. English troops use longbows for the first time to defeat a Scottish army.

Todays Joke - This comes a friend at work. I also have been emailed a joke from a blogger so if you have a joke email me and I will credit you when I post it.

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. The
first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a
huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show the others who is the boss,
he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best
pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions
will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimpanzee house, he is
attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two
chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to
the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the
corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South
American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked and stung by the
bees.
He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what
to do and throws them into the lion's cage - because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another
lion and says, "What's the food like here?"

The other lions say, "Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish and chimps
with mushy bees."

Bit slow to blog

Before I go on, sorry for the lack of posts but real life is busy :-), Well the last post about a mans BBQ has gone to pot as my In-Laws have gone for a gas BBQ, yep shock horror the bricks and grill have gone and they have a really nice looking BBQ at a price that made me feel sick with envy. Lets just say it cost less then half of our gas bottle !!! (and you would get change out of a score*)

Seems to be turning into a BBQ blog recently !! but heres is a pic:

So where have the Palace Fans been, well we have been glad all over (Palace Song) at my little sisters wedding we had a great weekend up there North near Barnsley. Best thing about weddings is seeing the rest of the family Oh and of course 2 people joining together, It was a little bit like an episode of Footballers Wifes with all the mad hair of these youngsters today and cool suits. Here is a photo of my sister with her new husband (Mr Shef Wed Fan) and also of my 2 nieces that were flower girls:

Everyone looked good but the above were a cut above the rest of us.

*A score is 20 British Pounds

Baby news - Have taken a photo of the 20 week scan so hopefully you can see the baby. I never ever used to be able to see the picture of a baby when I saw a scan but I can now, must be once you have one.

Footie news - Still a bit worried that AJ is going to leave Palace but everyone sees to be going for Peter Crouch so fingers crossed. Palace have flown out to Germany today for 2 matches, 1 tomorrow and 1 Saturday

*Just seen that Liverpool are about to sign Peter Crouch

Todays Fact - A lion's roar can be heard from more than five miles away.

On this day - 1545
English warship Mary Rose, pride of the battle fleet of King Henry VIII, sinks in the Solent with the loss of 700 lives. The ship is raised on October 11, 1982 and taken to Portsmouth Dockyard.

Todays Joke - FRENCH TERROR ALERT RAISED

Prime Minister Chirac has officially raised the French terror alert from
'Run' to 'Hide'.

There are only two higher alert levels in France, which are 'Surrender' and
'Collaborate'.
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white
flag factory - effectively crippling their military capability.

A mans BBQ

Spent last weekend at the In Laws and had a great time (Have to say that as they read the blog ;-0) We were going to club together with Bro in law and get a gas BBQ for them as a birthday present. Well, we have been told not to bother and get a wireless router because he already has a BBQ, (A router is good because then we can all use the internet when we are there on our laptops, hang on a minute... he wants the router so he can stay on his computer and not give it up to us for our internet fix :-0)

Anyway this is a mans BBQ, none of your poncy gas like mine ! (See my BBQ post from before for pic of mine)



Baby news - Had our 2nd Scan today and everything is looking good. The baby is right in the middle of the growth lines so not too big or small.

Footie news - Vieira is off, Arsenal accept Juve's Vieira , He has given 9 years to Arsenal so as a nice change from recent posts I am going to say good luck and all the best. Just hope he does not have any racist problems in Italy as before.

Palace released the squad numbers today AJ number 8 still there.

Todays Fact - There are more female than male millionaires in the United States.

On this day - 1789: Bastille stormed

On July 14, 1789, militant Parisian workers storm and dismantle the Bastille, a royal fortress in Paris. Originally constructed in the 14th century, the Bastille was first used as a state prison in the 17th century. Although the average annual number of prisoners was only about 40, the Bastille came to symbolize the tyranny of the Bourbon monarchs. On the morning of July 14, 1789, when only seven prisoners were being held, a mob descended on the Bastille and demanded the arms and munitions stored there. When the prison governor refused, the people stormed the fortress and freed the prisoners. This dramatic action signaled the beginning of the French Revolution, a three-year reign of terror and political turmoil in which King Louis XVI was overthrown and roughly 1,000 people, including the king and his wife Marie Antoinette, were sent to the guillotine. The Bastille was demolished during the Revolution. Today, July 14--Bastille Day--is celebrated as a national holiday in France.

Todays Joke - Jimmy Carr says;

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard,
but I was
never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me
to sleep at night.

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind
people were given pointed sticks?

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day.
She said,
"Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All
right, but we're not going to get much done."

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a
goat.

You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells
you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my
favourite
flower?"
And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't
listening...Self-raising?"

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots
and punched someone in the face.

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have
thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".

I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take
the Girl out of Cork ...

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along.
Turned out it was a bloody hoax.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be
both a winner and a loser at the same time.

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right
to arm bears.

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent
most of our family holidays in Customs.

Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you
on its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince
yourself that
they're enjoying it as well.

A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job
please".
The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you
go
join the circus?"
The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".

I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've
already got one!"

It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.

I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm
not very good at it.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a
tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of
fire.
They're trained for that.

I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this
sign:
"This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I
feel?"

Cards

Today London is getting back on with it. Mrs PF said that it was still a bit quiet but OK.

I went as normal to my place of work in Rickmansworth, a place famed only as far as I can tell for being in the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy book by Douglas Adams but it never even made it into the film !

I went to one of the many card shops that we have there and could not believe it when I went to locate the wedding card section, it made me smile, it went engagement cards followed by Wedding and anniversary then the one that I couldn't believe congratulations on your divorce !!! There really is a card for all occasions.

Baby news - Mrs PF is starting to feel the baby a lot more. I hope that I will feel it soon.

Looking to create a CD from my song collection for Mrs PF and the chosen one to listen to so any ideas give me a comment.

Footie news - Rio wants 120 thousand a week and has been offered 110 thousand but thats not enough !!! I have not ever swore on this blog since day 1 but Rio get a fucking real life. The 110 thousand a week is over 600 times the national minimum wage for a 37.5 week (181.87p). It's 5.75 million pound a year !! You had a crap season and won fuck all but want a pay rise, If I had a crap performance over the year I would kiss my pay rise goodbye. Sorry about the swearing but come on, whats a Nurse earn? and she saves lives not the odd goal.

Todays Fact - The word Eskimo literally means 'raw meat eater'.

I thought it was Man in cold place but there you go.

On this day - 1848 In London, the official opening of Waterloo Station

Todays Joke - FOOTBALLERS, why do I spend so much of my hard earned cash watching these jumped up Charlies !

Yep I know it's the same as before.

You wont win

Today is a very sad day after the jubliation of yesterday. Mrs PF works near Covent Garden so got a bit stranded and had to walk quite far for almost 2 hours but did manage to grab a taxi in the end to get home. I work in Rickmansworth so I am based out of London. Have heard from most of our friends so thats good news. Our heart goes out to everyone involved.

I think that the organisation of the services was brilliant, considering that half the Met force are at G8 it was good that the army helped out. Its great that the bus and train networks are already starting to resume services.

I'm not scared as we have been waiting for it since 911. We have had it before the IRA and the terrorists will not win. I am, if being honest, glad that it was not as bad as it could of been because the death toll, although rising, could of been a lot higher.

Take care all.

Olympics coming to London

Good News, London has won the race to host the Olympics.

I cant wait for this event to come to London. It really is going to be good and to all those moaning about the added costs to your council bills, think about the future that your kids are going to have with all these new facilities. Some of you may even have the next champ coming home from school today ! If you dont like it move.

Wish I bought in East London now because those houses are going to start going up!

No other post today as I am out having a beer or three tonight.

Take it easy,

Palace Fan

Oh and sorry about the rant about Steven Gerrald yesterday as it seems that he has changed his mind again and is now staying at Palace. Come on AJ now you !

Rock tunes

I see today that my Blog picture is in the news after 1 of the apostles has vanished into the sea Eight left I have read somewhere that it is going to be another 1000 years before another goes though.

Upgraded my iTunes today and my iPod so I can listen to these podcasts. Seems to be a new buzz word around. Who knows maybe I will look into creating one.

Baby news - As you may of noticed there is a new bit on the top of the blog and it will tell people how pregnant Mrs PF is and how long we have left of our quiet nights :-). I hope you like it.

Footie news - Another day and another footballer has told his club that he wants to leave after saying he will stay Gerrard He has been offered a contract of £100,000 a week. Is their Captain and has just won the Champions League final Currently has 2 years left on a £60,000 a week contract and is at his boyhood club i.e. the team he supports. He wants out because they took too long to offer him a contract. What ever next, I suppose he wanted to be the player manager. If I was a Liverpool fan I would be grateful that he is off and the team will get at least 32 million to rebuild for next season.

He has waited and waited hoping that Liverpool would accept a transfer and therefore he would be due money from the fransfer and as it is now he get nowt as he has put the transfer request in.

Todays Fact - Farmers in England are required by law to provide their pigs with toys!

Mrs PF is a vegetarian and always says to me how intelligent pigs are. Will keep an eye out for completed jigsaws next time I'm on the farm.

On this day - Ooo la la
1946: Bikinis introduced

On July 5, 1946, French designer Louis Reard unveils a daring two-piece swimsuit at a swimming pool in Paris. Micheline Bernardini, a Parisian showgirl who didn’t object to appearing nearly nude in public, modeled the new fashion. Unsure of what to call his creation, Reard spontaneously dubbed it bikini, inspired by news-making U.S. nuclear tests taking place off the Bikini Atoll that week. Before long, bold young women in bikinis were causing a sensation along the Mediterranean coast. For a time in Spain and Italy, the wearing of the swimsuit on public beaches was banned.

Todays Joke - FOOTBALLERS, why do I spend so much of my hard earned cash watching these jumped up Charlies !

Guitar Blues

Gutted. Found an American Jaguar '62 reissue for only £499 on a website over the weekend so bought it but got a phone call today saying that they had messed up the discription and it should of been a Jap one :-( To be honest thats what I though because the american one is over a grand Look here it's now back to a Jap one I could of gone on and on but dont think I had a leg to stand on and the terms and conditions on the site state the following:

All prices on this website are subject to change without notice. Management reserves the right to refuse sale. Special offers subject to availability. While we try to maintain correct pricing throughout the website, errors may occur. In the case of such an error we will contact you for confirmation or cancellation of your order.

This is what the description did say and how much it should cost from another site.

Oh well SO if you know of anyone with an American Jag or Telecaster for sale please let me know I have cash waiting !!!

Baby news - Mrs PF felt the Chosen One move last night ! Happened after I talked quite loudly at the tummy. She is very happy about it.

Footie news - Looks like Everton have switch their target from AJ to Bellamy Kind of good news but I still think that AJ might go to Newcastle so it's not really good news. Still hope that he is at the Palace come the start of the season.

Todays Fact - Human birth control pills work on gorillas.

On this day - U.S. DECLARES INDEPENDENCE:
July 4, 1776

In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the Continental Congress adopts the Declaration of Independence, which proclaims the independence of the United States of America from Great Britain and its king.

Todays Joke - The idiot that cut me up a treat on the way to work.

Testing new design

A work in progress and it has taken me nearly all day messing about with it all so that I can still use blogger.com with it all.

Nearly there but some more work needed :-)

Learning lots of new stuff re coding and working out what parts to take from the original blogger design to keep all posts etc.

Eyes getting tired so not posting the normal BUT will post tomorrow about a guitar that I am trying to buy through a website, I am quite sure that they have used the wrong price on site so I bought it and called them up and it is out of stock MMmmm

Let me know what you think about the design. Think I need a better "logo"

Noticed I have lost my quick edit but hey I am not a web designer !!!! More to the point I am not even that technical anymore (I used to a computer network analyst)